Recent Comments

1. about 21 hours ago on Crankshaft

   Other LOLguyver SUPERBURNS: “How many light bulbs does it take to screw my mom?! 27, I counted!” “This is the flossiest floss in my teeth! LOOK AT THE 3-DAY OLD KFC CHUNKS they’re like you!” and “…Umm………..LOL!”

2. about 23 hours ago on Crankshaft

   (LIAM NEESON hangs up phone) “That’s not my daughter. MacGuyver would NEVER end a sentence without ‘LOL!!’ But I have a particular skill set.” COP: “You’re…just eating hot wings?” Liam shrugs. “Yeah, who cares about that guy? He’s gonna find a way to get run over by his own car.”

3. about 24 hours ago on Crankshaft

   So, after declaring himself Hemingway during Les’s Lisa Story, now he’s Spiegelman and Lee. Tommy Boy, you just ain’t never get over losing that Pulitzer ever, are you?

4. about 24 hours ago on Crankshaft

   “Name three things that have never been together but once, and 1 of the three is awful.”

5. 2 days ago on Crankshaft

   “B-minus”? You grade on the curve.

6. 2 days ago on Crankshaft

   I think that if they made a Wack-a-Mole with these three heads, they’d have to close it after 5 minutes because the Dinkle Head was already exploded.

7. 2 days ago on Crankshaft

   “We play in our marching band! We’ve seen things you book signers wouldn’t believe… Attack buses running over kids in Lorain… I watched Cleveland K-Mart blue lights glitter in the dark near Tom’s old hardware store in Medina. All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain… Time to buy DRUMS ALONG THE SIDELINES!” Dinkle: “Well played!” (mutters to kids) “It’s the GOOD blow this time, right? You little bits ain’t ripping me off a third time!” (Shining Twins giggle) “It’s our Peruvian marching band powder!”

8. 2 days ago on Crankshaft

   Bottom of the Barrel Thomas said 3 O’clock High was “cancelled.” I think that’s a bit of an accidental confession.

9. 2 days ago on Crankshaft

   YEAH? Well, you’re a big dumb smelly poopyhead!! (Since you end every post with LOL and have the wit of rotting turnip, I just figured you’re 8 years old. Behave, or no juice box at nap time!)

10. 3 days ago on Crankshaft

    Crank is at one of the OTHER of the town’s book signings today.