A lawyer boarded an airplane in New Orleans with a box of frozen crabs and asked a blonde flight attendant to take care of them for him. She took the box and promised to put it in the crew’s refrigerator.
He advised her that he was holding her personally responsible for them staying frozen, mentioning in a very haughty manner that he was a lawyer, and proceeded to rant at her about what would happen if she let them thaw out.
Needless to say, she was annoyed by his behavior. Shortly before landing in New York, she used the intercom to announce to the entire cabin, “Would the gentleman who gave me the crabs in New Orleans, please raise your hand?”
Not one hand went up … so she took them home and ate them.
A hunter shoots a deer and is pulling it back to his truck..
A farmer passes by and says, “Hey you shot that deer on my property. That makes that deer mine.”
The hunter says, “No way, I tracked it, I shot it, it’s mine.”
The farmer says, “Ok Ok…we’ll settle this the old way.”
“The old way?”
“Yes. We’ll take turns kicking each other in the cojones and the first guy who can’t take it anymore loses. The winner gets the deer.”
The hunter thinks about this and he says, “Ok, let’s do it.”
The farmer says, “Ok, let me go first.” He takes a big wind up and just nails the hunter right in the cojones with his big dirty farmer boots.
The hunter doubles over in pain, huffing and puffing for a several minutes. He finally gets up, still panting and says, “Ok Ok…I’m still in…my turn.”
The farmer says, “Nah, you can keep the deer.”