Agnes by Tony Cochran for October 14, 2013

English is not my native language, but yes, I got the joke.

Reminds me of the first English joke with a similar twist on words that I understood. The teacher asks her class to form a sentence with the word contagious. Several fine examples are given and then little Johnny says: “My mom said: your father is so slow in mending the car, it takes the contagious.”

Uuhhmmm… I won’t be banned now, will I?

Trouts mother is paraphrasing a very famous line from Dorothy Parker, either on purpose or because she doesn’t remember it:

“You can lead a horticulture, but you can’t make her think.”

(Said by Ms. Parker when asked, in a word game, to use “horticulture” in a sentence.)

That actual quote (an old favorite of mine) has been printed in countless books, magazines and newspapers for 80 or 90 years…. it would be rather silly for a newspaper to ban a similar line in 2013.

And it doesn’t even say “whore!”

Harry G…. you won’t be banned but I have to warn you that if that pun made sense it would be very crude…. and very sexist, and not acceptable on the forums here.

But the supposed joke involves a nasty, misogynistic word that to English speakers, applies to women, not men.

@SusanSunshineYes, I realize that. It was just that I was proud back then that I finally understood an English joke like that (I was with a group of some Dutch and a lot of native British in a pub in Manchester drinking a bit too much; I guess that explains a lot).

“You can lead a horticulture, but you can’t make her think.”

Harry…. :)

That is just hilarious – I’ve never heard that before – and I’m old!

My husband used to say this about his first wife, after he discovered men did “buy her pretty things”.

When I read this I was laughing hysterically but I just grabbed my cup of coffee. At least the girls didn’t understand.

…what’s the difference between a vitamin and a hormone? you can’t make a vitamin…(am i gonna get banned?)

these comments definately made my gloomy Monday morning. Thank you all. ;)

“Mommy, I don’t understand this joke. Can you ’splain it to me?”“Maybe when you’re older, honey.”

Agnes, stop trying to be anyone famous! Just pick a job and don’t worry about the fame — it can’t be controlled.

Everybody is a comedian today, but the reality is that Trout’s mommy probably is referring to herself. Trout lives a very sad life. Sigh (my downer statement of the day)

I actually laughed and snorted out loud! Trout manages to stay pretty innocent in the midst of it all. Of course, she is at Agnes’ most of the time, and Granny tries to keep Agnes on the straight and narrow!

@Jeff0811Thanks for giving me a good laugh. I had to read it twice but I got the joke and it is funny (once you get it, but isn’t that true for all jokes?).