Aunty Acid by Ged Backland for October 26, 2020

She hides them well though.

(Cough, cough) Delusional. (Cough.)

<Hold it!> I’m turning green with envy?

Looks might not be everything, but they’re all I got! I have to make do.

As long as no one looks.

I can’t bear to look at you.

When people tell me that I’m funny, my standard answer is “Looks aren’t everything”

That’s a beautiful lie, Aunty!

But where do you keep them, Aunty?

The one I like best is the ONE raised eyebrow, , ,

Like the old cigarette ads, Aunty. So round, so firm, so fully packed.

You get looks, Ms Mór-Ríoghain!

♪♫ “…In a jar by the door”? (“Who is it for?”) ♪♫ ☺

The first time I saw my wife was when I was talking to her mother at her house. A kid had ridden his bike out in front of me and I almost got stopped in time – barely tapped him enough to knock him off the bike. Got his name and address before he skedaddled. Went to his house later and was talking to his mother when his older sister walked into the room. I could tell everything I needed to know about her by the way she moved. She was cute but the thing that sold me was that she moved like a good person. Been married 52+ years now.

And sometimes looks are anything to write home about.

Even without a girdle?