Aunty Acid by Ged Backland for August 28, 2022

… so i should be half-deaf and sick of everything?

True of my Mother- she was 100% dedicated to being the best housewife she could be. The more I have to take care of myself now, the more I’m impressed by the boundless energy she had.

Seriously, I don’t know how my mother and father did it. From childhood they each had very little and ended very comfortably set, even after adopting three children. I think the Depression and World War Two toughened them and many others. I get half the work done in twice the time.

And twice the time to tell a story.

My mom was very efficient at running the house, she had some sort of a system that worked for her, but totally unobservable and unknown to me. Things sort of happened like magic.

However, when it came to telling a story, my mom figured that it was necessary to fill in with every last bit of information and explore every rabbit hole. For example if the story involved a meeting a friend of hers and her daughter at the store , my mom would explain where the daughter went to school, what grade she was in and what she was wearing even if it were not relevant to the story.

I recall interrupting my mom once and telling her, “Just give me the details.”

It is strange, isn’t it, how people either become their parents OR become their complete opposites??? Maybe that only applies to people who had very strong parents. . .of course, that’s a generalization, so that makes it suspect. . .too early for psychology/philosophy. . .MORE COFFEE, PLEASE!!!!

i should act dead…?

Yes fat and sassy. True?

So remember that all you guys out there, Act Like Your Mother. If you spouse makes you mad, don’t argue with them, cry and lock yourself in the bathroom. Go tool shopping, because you need a new drill driver for spring. Heaven forbid the guys at work see you using the same drill driver that you used yesterday. Don’t forget you need at least 30 pairs of work boots, and remember never wear white, not even white underwear, after Labor day.

This has been a public service announcement from the Men Who Act Like Their Mothers Society.

Sorry, but I’m not gonna work that hard.

Uh, no.

It’s not in my nature to act like that.

Thanks but no thanks . . . my mother was vitriolic and bitter. I achieved what I did by learning not to be like her.

So true!

She’s got a point…my mom just turned 89 & can run my wheels off!

No. I would rather not abuse, torture or mutilate my children emotionally or physically.

I would not have traded my mom for anybody!

You DON’T want me to act like my mother. Trust me on this.

With as toxic as my mother was/is – no thank you!