Aunty Acid by Ged Backland for September 17, 2024

Our Motel Has A Free Streaming Service

I work at a motel along a stream with all rooms having a balcony. At 11:05 PM, I get a call from a guest:

Guest: “When do you turn off the water? That noise is aggravating.”

The Best Kind Of Hotel Party

I work in a hotel. I checked a family of five in on a Friday. The youngest came bounding in as the rest of the family walked in and cheerfully said hi! Children — well-behaved ones, that is — are some of my favourite guests as they are just full of energy and are fun to talk to. I grew up around young children in the family, so I have a knack for knowing the right behaviour. I enjoy hearing about their weekend plans. Our company always encourages us to talk to the little-uns, too.

As I was doing my check-in with the parents, she chimed in:

Youngest Child: “It’s my birthday tomorrow!”

Me: “How old are you going to be?”

Youngest Child: “Nine!”

Me: “Wow! That’s a big number!” To the family “What are your plans?”

Mum: “We’re in the area for the weekend for Uni choices and applications for my eldest.”

They didn’t mention anything about plans for the little-un — to me, anyway.

The family headed up to the room, and I decided I was going to give the little-un something for her birthday. We couldn’t do anything massive, but it’s the thought that counts. We have new children’s books that come with a toy, so I got one of them and a choccy from a vending machine, and I wrote out a little Happy Birthday note. (We’re not supposed to be giving gift stuff to guests because of the global health crisis, but I decided, “Screw it.”)

I delivered the gifts to her parents at their room and went back down to the desk. I missed them as they headed out for the afternoon but caught them on their way back in.

Mum: “[Youngest Child] was over the moon about your gifts! We’re going to read the book together tonight.”

My heart melted.

I finished my shift and wasn’t due back until Monday. When I returned, I found that the little-un had drawn a thank-you letter directed to me personally with some drawings. When I say I nearly cried from happiness, I’m not lying.

How The Hotel Got Its Mascot

I work at a hotel. Imagine my surprise when I got a text from a coworker yesterday before I went to work asking me to bring cat food with me.

Me: “Why?”

I should’ve guessed.

Coworker: “Housekeeping found a cat left behind in one of the rooms.”

Off to [Store] I went to get food, litter, and a litterbox because, of course, we didn’t have any of those things at a hotel.

By the time I got to work, they’d already managed to bring the cat down to my office, and it had hidden under my desk. The poor thing was terrified and hungry.

I’ve checked, and the desk clerk who checked in the room didn’t bother to get enough information to contact the guest, but as far as I’m concerned, they don’t need this cat back. Either they intentionally left it behind, or they forgot about it, and there’s no way they don’t know where they left it, so why haven’t they called about it?

So, now I’ve got a scared cat hiding in my office — with everything it needs for now — while we wait for it to come out of its shell so we can figure out what to do next.

Before or after you check for bedbugs?

I’ve done that.

My wife checks for spy cams in the bathroom.

My first thing…………Where’s the remote?

Mine is checking the bed crevices, furniture drawers and seat cushions for bed bugs.

Are you alone ???

Yeah, because you don’t have to make it!!!

Say “What’s that smell?”

Black light the bedspread first.

I would’ve guess she’d check to see if the mini-bar was stocked.

A 2 week vacation is not enough. It takes a day to travel, a day to recover from the traveling then about 7 – 9 days of running around doing all the touristy things you want to do, one or 2 days of now being bored and by the last Thursday you are panicked that you have to leave so you run around doing everything that you had no time before and Friday packing and Saturday traveling and Sunday doing laundry, etc, and going in to work the next day and you find that you need a vacation from your vacation. Rinse and repeat

Check that the bathroom has soap, shampoo, and toilet paper. Then flush the toilet to see if it works. Yeah, I don’t use nice hotels. Oh, and that TV better work.

Room service…

Only if the mattress isn’t rock-hard! I can’t sleep on a “firm” mattress – I need something I can sink into.

One time my mother and I arrived in New York. We got a ride to our hotel in a limo-like car. He got us to our hotel safe enough, but the ride made me so nauseous that the first thing I did when I got into the hotel room was sprint to the bathroom just in the nick of time.

i check the view out the window. a long, long ago visit to NYC with the parents and the view of the brick wall next door (could almost reach out and touch it, except the window was locked) remains in memory…

We used to unpack right off (somewhat), then I’d change clothes depending on what we were doing next.

Don’t plop on the bed too hard. You’ll wake the bedbugs.

The first thing I do is remove the pretty blankets or comforters from the bed. The average hotel doesn’t clean (or have the resources to clean) them between every guest. One of my first jobs as a kid was cleaning rooms at a conference facility. I was shocked and grossed out when I discovered this, but it’s true. Sheets were always washed and changed, but not the blankets and/or comforters.