Aunty Acid by Ged Backland for December 18, 2024

If You’re Gonna Be A Chump You’re Gonna Lose Your Pump

About ten years ago my grandfather passed away suddenly from a heart attack. I received the phone call as I got into my car to leave for work. I was completely blindsided by the news. In hindsight, I should’ve called out and not worked my shift, but being a teenager in a very poor family, I decided to tough it out to keep my younger siblings fed.

Less than an hour into my shift, a man came to the window to purchase gas. Our intercom wasn’t the best, so if the customer didn’t speak up, it made them difficult to understand. Without giving me the chance to even greet him, he threw a twenty-dollar bill in the tray and turned to walk away. As he turned away to walk to his truck, he said:

Customer: “Twenty dollars on pump [unintelligible].”

Not wanting to put his money on the wrong pump, I left the register and jogged out in the direction he walked to confirm which pump he was parked at. When I found him, he was already trying to pump his gas, and was becoming frustrated.

Customer: “Why isn’t this f****** thing working?”

Me: “Sorry, I didn’t hear which pump you were at when you paid, so I came out to see where you were parked.”

Customer: “Were you not paying attention? I told you I was on nine. Can you not f****** handle a minimum wage job that a monkey could do? Wake the f*** up!”

I was completely caught off guard by his hostility, and all I could think to do was apologize.

Me: “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to cause a problem for you. My grandpa just died, and I’m having a hard time processing it.”

Customer: “Grow up, man. People die every day. If you can’t handle someone dying, you might as well off yourself now, cause things aren’t going to get any easier for you. Now do your dumb f****** job and fix my f****** pump.”

I didn’t respond to his rant and just went back to the register.(Contd)

Being disabled means every day is the same, for good or ill.

One of my co-workers spouted a number of pithy sayings. His frequent saying — that often proved true — was, “Smile! It gets worse!”

Arrgh! Only halfway!

Smile, it makes everyone wonder what you’ve been up to. ;-}

Smile!Only 1 week to Christmas.

Smile – you’re closer to death. More days burnt.

Half smile!!!!

Not yet were not. It’s not noon yet.

Wait. I thought they said hemp day…

I used to have three days in my week: if I were working, it was Wednesday, if I went to church, it was Sunday otherwise it was Saturday.

And then it’s just two more working days until Monday!

Halfway to Friday, yet nowhere near Harry Morgan elementary school.

I suppose Adam-12 might be closer to Friday.

Hump day, I’m retired, there is no hump day.

At least you have a positive attitude for a change. Of course tomorrow it’ll be dang, still not Friday.