Ballard Street by Jerry Van Amerongen for March 28, 2019

These urges are in your genes, Scooter. (And no, I did not say jeans, you mind-in-the-gutter types).

It’s easy to carry.

I’m sure if someone told him, he’d be very retrieved.

Identity crisis. (Page of Wands)

Ya gotta stick to it.

Scooter’s taking a moment to consider his priorities.

Well if he would only stop chewing up every ball and frisbee he’s gotten… and sticks are plentiful and he doesn’t get yelled at for chewing them.

That’s why.

OK…. somebody else tell him.

Not me.

I was there last October when Patsylou Prandy, from Prandy’s Poodles, Labradoodles and Labs, tried to tell him that very thing.

Scooter, you see, while being a dog, and one who reads magazines, at that,

Has a limited understanding of “breeds” or being bred.

Of course, he also doesn’t talk.

But from his snarls and growls and attempts to chew up the charts she was trying to show him….

I realised that he probably thought she was saying he came from a lab….

like some sort of Frankendog.

No way he would put up with that.

He knows he comes from a long, proud line…. of Big White Dogs.

Emphasis on Big.

Meanwhile…. he considers himself a kinda apex predator sort of guy….

https://assets.amuniversal.com/cc419010915e0134f9d3005056a9545d.gif

So to be seen carrying a stick, instead of… maybe a wildebeest(?)… is a little embarrassing.

My dog prefers to think of himself as a Stick Relocation Specialist.

Scooter experiences the same sort of existential crises as the other sentient beings he knows. Why am I here? What is my purpose? Did I remember to take in the trash and put out the cat? Or is it the other way around?

…blond lab…

Scooter asked himself that question everyday for the past 77 dog years Now has enough sticks in his nest egg to retire along with Jerry.

Scooter is a one trick dog.. and carrying a stick it is.

Well, since Miss Millie High-Maintenance has told you in no uncertain terms that she doesn’t want any more sticks, where else are you gonna carry it?

Brutus, the neighborhood dog bully is hoarding all the good sticks.

His owners are rubbing off on him..

Scooter is going to reach the stage, quite soon I’m afraid, that he determines where to stick that stick – and not even gently !

Only a few days left to inform Scooter.

Because that’s what dogs do!!!

Labs the world over ask that very question every day. You are not alone, Scooter.

All the better sticks are taken.