Ballard Street by Jerry Van Amerongen for February 12, 2021

Shirley, he is pounding on the walls as a substitute to pounding on the source of his frustration, so if I were you I’d just keep my mouth shut.

Seriously, I don’t think I would say that to a man dressed in a bathrobe and standing an arm’s length away with dripping claw hammer in hand.

You could put on some pants for starters.

Stephen thought he heard something in there… Granted, he could have been a bit more methodical,

This is why they rent.

Stephen’s just trying to find a fire block so he can hang a heavy picture.

You’ll have to hammer that into his head.

I’d say he’s up against the wall.

If this was a horror movie, you know where the next hole would be…

K. Which one is Shirley?

Stephen is home for the weekend until they pick him up Sunday night and it’s back to the sanitorium.

He heard there was money in his house

Too much Pete Seeger before bed.

Define “better”.

First thing tomorrow, buy a flyswatter.

Stephen could not find the fly shatter!

She’s very calm about such disturbing behavior. Whatever she’s taking I need two.

Stephen completely misunderstood when Shirley said she wished she could find a stud…

Nope.

This wall displeases me.

Time to send for the “white coat brigade”.

Sure.. but why, this is fun.. why won’t you let me do fun stuff?

I blame those house-flipping shows that make wall demolition look fun. Stephen is so easily influenced that the wife needs to remove the DYI channels from the remote again.

“Bang, bang Stephen’s gol-durned hammer…”

Oh, c’mon. The wall was asking for it.

Bash, patch, repeat. It’s a hobby, I suppose.

Sure, Stephen has plenty of better things he could do, but none of them are as satisfying as what he is doing.