Ballard Street by Jerry Van Amerongen for July 23, 2023

Ted needs an alternative form of energy just to move.

Lard burns well.

Ted is the product of mass (m) with the speed of light squared (c2 ). Boom!

with those ears, sure you are.

Gas buildup ?

With those dangling earrings, you are an alternative something.

Thinking is a bit of a stretch and was never Ted’s strongpoint, however…

Hmmm . . . never thought about it like that .

Yes, you are, Ted.

Ted, you’re a veritable Methane Processing Plant…

Good morning Balladeers!

Ted ponders the expanding universe and how it accounts for his repeated need to buy increasingly bigger pants.

Yes, you are. Matter.

Yes you are Ted, by the pound you would be worth a lot.

He’s an energy black hole.

Ted is mostly Potential Energy – very little Kinetic Energy.

Ted is full of inerta. Or something.