Ballard Street by Jerry Van Amerongen for September 27, 2024

En garde

In my best David Attenborough voice, “Here we have the territorial suburbanite, the Garrett Middleagist, in his natural habitat ready to fight for his land.”

Fortunately, Garrett is not armed.

It’s his attitude that brought all of his neighbors to the decision build fences around his property.

What is Malcom building now? I thought the tower overlooking Garrett’s bedroom window was bad enough….

Is Garrett’s last name Maginot?

Garret has the wrong idea. I take a different and more enjoyable route. I encourage the neighboring kids take the shortcut across my property. Love living where there are children of all ages and love the sound of their playing.

Come getcha’ some Garrett.

GET OFF MY LAWN!

If only Garrett was not standing on Mrs. Higglebottom’s lawn while doing so…

Sometimes you have to. Neighbors will encroach if you let them. I bought a 20 acre lot and found a neighbor had fenced in 8/10 of an acre of it. Then I bought a house in a subdivision and found a neighbors fence 6 feet over the line. Some people I thought were friends intentionally fenced 5 acres of their neighbor’s farm, and wanted to fight him when he called them on it.

Because you’re mine…I walk the line.

Garrett has all the neighbors fooled. He is, at this very moment , wondering if this is a fart or should he run to the bathroom

My fences to the West and North (emphasis on “my”) are as high as our town bylaws allow. They do help to maintain order. There is no fence to the East or South.

“Come at me, Bro! Oh, hello Reverend…”