Barney & Clyde by Gene Weingarten; Dan Weingarten & David Clark for April 06, 2024

Well, It Is A Day For Crazy Good Deals, Right? NOT MY STORY

It’s Black Friday, and I’m doing my duty to keep our consumerist culture happy. As I’m meandering down the aisles to finish my list, a guy flags me down and says, “Hello, miss…”

I stop, thinking he’s going to ask about the s’mores kits in my cart. (I’ve had several people ask about them already.)

Guy: “What kind of wireless service do you have?”

I finally notice that he’s stationed by a booth for a local cable company that offers Internet, crammed among the merchandise. Their salesmen are really pushy and won’t take “no” for an answer.

Me: “None of your business.”

The guy stared at me for a solid two minutes with his jaw hanging open as I walked away. I don’t like salesmen harassing me on a normal day, let alone on the busiest shopping day of the year and after my coffee has worn off.

They’re only undead at night. By daylight it’s just a corpse. They try to get back to the crypt because strays are too noticeable.

Is that Grampa in the bush? Let’s hope not.

Then you should be hunting for coffins.

Give him a break. He can still catch the “Sparkly” Vampires… ☺

C’mon Clyde, this guy is an expert, he knows what he is doing. Before this, he was the lead investigator looking for improprieties in the 2020 presidential election.

All-all-all

I’d worry that this guy would drive a stake into a non-vampire.