Basic Instructions by Scott Meyer for September 11, 2023

“Alton Brown”? Okay, Internet rabbit hole, here I come … Oh, the horror! He’s a TV presenter and celebrity chef who makes his own cooking tools … probably cooks tenderloin with them, too!

Well, live and loin.

What, a weenie.

My brisket is fine, it’s the pot roast that troubles me!

I never trust my father’s reports of what his doctor told him, because my father always hears things wrong.

Some hearing aids have the capability of translating what is said into readable text. I’m not sure the doctors really want us to know what they say, even though many of them record it for their own, personal records.

Some cities have a tenderloin district. I always wondered what that meant.

“You stay away from my Pork Chops!”

Old people generally use any conversation as an excuse to complain about things. Ever notice that? It really bugs me!

In British terms, that doctor sounds like a pain in the scrag end.

Hear about the thief who stole cats? His was a purr loin.

At least it’s not a problem with his “sweetbreads”…

At least he didn’t use the words “moist” or “throb”.

There’s a “Far Side” cartoon with a farmer’s cows being caught as they go over a butcher chart of the farmer. The head is marked “throw away.”

Okay – You made me snort my Ensure out of my nose and into my big ol’ bowl o’ pablum.

That does not sound like a good way to “loin”.

The psoas major muscle is the closest equivalent