I.m gonna tell story that you won’t believe
But I fell in love last Friday eve
With a girl I saw on a barroom TV screen
You know that I fell in love with a roller derby queen
The meanest hunk of woman that any body’s ever seen
I was just getting ready, to get my hat
When she caught my eye and I put it back
And I ordered myself a couple more shots and beer
Well she’s 5’4” 215
My heavy set woman with a streak of mean
And she knew how to knuckle
She knew how to hustle and fight
Well the roller derby program said
She was built like an outhouse with two feet of lead
And her fans called her toughie
But all her friends called her Spike
You know that I fell in love with a roller derby queen
The meanest piece of woman that any body’s ever seen
Well I could not help but to fall in love
With this heavy duty woman I’ve been speaking of
Things looked bad until the day we wandered into my life
Well she might be ugly, she might be fat
But I never met a person that would tell her that
She’s my big blonde bomber
My heavy duty haversack momma.
Lewreader,you messed up some of the lyrics. You wrote:
She was built like an outhouse with two feet of lead . The correct lyric is: She was built like a frigerater with a head.
As far as I’m concerned Mastroianni and Hart are both out in left field here! Anybody who knows anything about speed skating knows any type of aggressive contact is not tolerated. But then again who is going to try and disqualify her?
… So I would say the best way to get out of this mess would be to show her where to sign up for women’s hockey!
Paul M., Mastroianni may be out in left field, but Hart is a bit…further removed these days.
The sport has been ruined by technology anyway. Bonnie Blair was probably one of the best female speedskaters ever to take to the ice, but all her records have since fallen because of the introduction of “clack skates”; the blades have a spring at the heel and a hinge at the toe, keeping them in contact with the ice longer than fixed-blade skates. The disparity between the old times and the new ones isn’t as great as, say, the difference made in pole vaulting when they switched from bamboo to fiberglass, but the faster times don’t necessarily equate to better athletes.
(grumble grumble grumble)
And another thing! I think this exact joke (minus the sight gag) was made during the Summer Games a number of years ago, but the question was “Who looks good in the women’s shot-put?”
MontanaLady over 14 years ago
Women’s Football on Ice………
COWBOY7 over 14 years ago
Oh well, how about gymnastics?
Good Morning, BC13
Pacejv over 14 years ago
Sign on her butt says: “Wide Load.”
lewisbower over 14 years ago
I.m gonna tell story that you won’t believe But I fell in love last Friday eve With a girl I saw on a barroom TV screen
You know that I fell in love with a roller derby queen The meanest hunk of woman that any body’s ever seen
I was just getting ready, to get my hat When she caught my eye and I put it back And I ordered myself a couple more shots and beer
Well she’s 5’4” 215 My heavy set woman with a streak of mean And she knew how to knuckle She knew how to hustle and fight Well the roller derby program said She was built like an outhouse with two feet of lead And her fans called her toughie But all her friends called her Spike
You know that I fell in love with a roller derby queen The meanest piece of woman that any body’s ever seen
Well I could not help but to fall in love With this heavy duty woman I’ve been speaking of Things looked bad until the day we wandered into my life Well she might be ugly, she might be fat But I never met a person that would tell her that She’s my big blonde bomber My heavy duty haversack momma.
Jim Crocellong65 over 14 years ago
now you just need someone to write the music to that.
DolphinGirl78 over 14 years ago
Wow Lewreader, impressive! :)
Another gold for Canada yesterday!!!!! WOOT!!!! :D
Plods with ...™ over 14 years ago
Rollerderby on ice!
midiranger over 14 years ago
Larry - already did – Jim Croce, 1974-ish
Nighthawks Premium Member over 14 years ago
rac , isn’t joan weston of the san francisco bay area bombers?
GROG Premium Member over 14 years ago
somebodyshort I was thinking the same thing.
Lewreader Who was that?
Good morning, Lonewolf
mmantle07 over 14 years ago
Somebody already wrote music to that. And his name was Jim Croce!
mmantle07 over 14 years ago
Lewreader,you messed up some of the lyrics. You wrote: She was built like an outhouse with two feet of lead . The correct lyric is: She was built like a frigerater with a head.
Trainwreck_1 over 14 years ago
As far as I’m concerned Mastroianni and Hart are both out in left field here! Anybody who knows anything about speed skating knows any type of aggressive contact is not tolerated. But then again who is going to try and disqualify her? … So I would say the best way to get out of this mess would be to show her where to sign up for women’s hockey!
GROG Premium Member over 14 years ago
mmantle07 Thank you. I thought so, but wasn’t sure.
Wildmustang1262 over 14 years ago
Congrats Canadian athletics for the gold medals at the Vancouver Olympics Games. You guys Canadians, feel good for winning huh?! I am sure :-)
Plods with ...™ over 14 years ago
1262 - agreed
WOOT! ( I think that’s Canadian for hoorah )
fritzoid Premium Member over 14 years ago
Paul M., Mastroianni may be out in left field, but Hart is a bit…further removed these days.
The sport has been ruined by technology anyway. Bonnie Blair was probably one of the best female speedskaters ever to take to the ice, but all her records have since fallen because of the introduction of “clack skates”; the blades have a spring at the heel and a hinge at the toe, keeping them in contact with the ice longer than fixed-blade skates. The disparity between the old times and the new ones isn’t as great as, say, the difference made in pole vaulting when they switched from bamboo to fiberglass, but the faster times don’t necessarily equate to better athletes.
(grumble grumble grumble)
And another thing! I think this exact joke (minus the sight gag) was made during the Summer Games a number of years ago, but the question was “Who looks good in the women’s shot-put?”