B.C. by Mastroianni and Hart for April 02, 2011

I try to only eat seven meals a day.

You just have bigger snacks, right?

Good Morning, Fellow Cave Dwellers.

i’ve been on a diet for two weeks, and all i’ve lost is two weeks.

Hey, I’ve gone to smaller “meals” and up to 3 snacks a day……..well…..I’ve only lost 8 pounds in the last three weeks……….

I have the body of a 30 year old. And he’s gonna kill me when he sees what I’ve done to it.

Deep inside me is this skinny guy who screams to get out, but a couple of glazed donuts usually shut him up.

I don’t snack between bites…

Throw out your scale, and you’ll feel better right off. If that stops working, throw out your mirrors, too.

Hey I have a body of a god……………….Buddha

Ah, but the Buddha is not a god. He is/was a mortal who achieved Enlightenment (which, after all, is what dieters are after too, no?).

Of course, if you’re truly One with Everything, then losing weight is impossible; wherever the fat goes, it’s still part of you…

A friend asked me why I had such a large stomach while the rest of me was skinny..I told him when I was younger my belly swelled up from malnutrition and stayed that way..(rolls eyes)

I’m always making colorful stuff just by looking. Diet=dye it.

Montana: Get the Feb issue of Reader’s digest. Great diet that says diets don’t work. You may find it helpful, too.

Yes, Fritz, but what is the sound of one pound falling?