We recently received this submission from someone I'm guessing is a very promising talent. I'd like to walk through what makes this submission stand out in a very crowded cartoonist marketplace.

1) It's handwritten. Look at that cursive. I don't know how he kept it so neat but to execute it on such a small scale and to hold the uniformity of the line across the entire note gives this a personal feeling and sets it off from all the professional submissions we get.

 

2) They were incredibly inclusive in their address line.  This is an address line that even those awful Millennials could get behind. 

 

3) He states who he is in the FIRST sentence. Do not bury the headline, people. 

 

4) He makes it clear he is a TOTAL cartoonist ... he will write AND he will draw ... none of this "partnering" baloney. Where the poor guy who has to draw does all the work while the writer eats chicken out of a bucket and watches The History Channel ... which frankly covers too much WWII in my opinion. You'll be history, History Channel, if you don't realize there's more to history than 1937 to 1945. 

 

5) He wants sample copies. I assume he means sample copies of the comics he wants to submit to us. This is genius! We do the work, he just signs the samples and sends them back. Who's laughing now, ya syndicate bozo?  

 

6) He also requests cartoon guidelines. Here they are: do jokes about kids, pets, in-laws, marriage, Star Trek and Star Wars. 

 

7) Lastly, he wants to accurately slant his comics. Nothing better for that than a ruler... or maybe one of those protractor things the kids are always talking about. 

 

8) And I think the nicest touch is that while he has signed his letter, he has not included any other contact info. He wants us to find him. He's "gamified" the submissions process and I think it's brilliant. The game is afoot, Watson! So many questions: Where do I start? Is he an American? Should I Google him? Would the FBI help me? Am I as "cherubic" as that mean-spirited passage on the men's room stall suggested? 

It's a new era and the comic submissions process has never been this much fun. 

* I do understand I'm coming off a bit smug in this post, but come on. This is the real world and people don't surf on rainbows or play bongos on a daydream. Do the slightest bit of research and act like a real person.