Brevity by Dan Thompson for August 15, 2012

“…but in the very least you need a beer.” – Zappa

I hope he doesn’t smoke a cigarette if he’s too brittle.

Don’t be a nut, Meg!You looked plenty spruce as you were.

That Tom likes to needle people… but yew shouldn’t give a fig!

Listen to your elders….don’t pine for anyone like him.Let him call you a beech…who cares. Elm telling yew, it may sound like an old chestnut, but you must never do anything that goes against your grain, especially just to be poplar!

Dogsniff…. it sounds like no forests are safe with you!

I guess they’re drinking birch beer.(They usually drink Anhauser-Bush when they’re smaller.)

These two are quite a pear; sticking to the guy that had to leave.

Susan, You missed bored/board, lumbering, branching out, and something about a-corny joke. I know you are going for a complete catalog of puns on each topic so maybe this will help.

Can’t think of much right now….so I guess I’ll make like a tree and leave………

The juke box is playing “Sugar, Sugar”……..

Hahahahaha!

“Excuse me, I gotta go leak some syrup.”

And the sap got all boiled and was poured over someone’s pancakes.

That Tom just Teaks me off sometimes.

I-m-ah-gon-y tell Maple all about him.

To the roots though, he’s such a corny dude that there’s no way you can keep from weeping ,willow, when he tells a joke.

He tries so hard, and that’s knot too bad of a characteristic in my opinion.