Brevity by Dan Thompson for August 05, 2020

She’s someone who wants to go places … fast.

One wish would be a chauffeur. Why should I drive?

Granted, all the other drivers will be slower.

LOL! Ohio drivers do not believe in the mythical separate passing lane. That’s probably why we are loathed in almost every other state!

In California there’s too much traffic to maintain a dedicated “passing” lane.

Left and right are "fast "and “slow” lanes, .. we can legally drive long distances in either.

Freeway signs say “Slow traffic keep right”. Most off ramps are on the right as well.

 

Many highways have multiple lanes, often for only certain sections of their length…

but slower traffic and exiting vehicles are always supposed to use the right-hand one…

and passing another car is supposed to always occur in a lane to the left of it.

 

As long as everyone stays alert and obeys the law, the system works fine…

But some slow cars refuse to move to the right…

and drivers in the faster lanes may not pay attention to cars wanting to cut in.

 

Or the leftmost lane may be a carpool lane, and a car without the requisite number of passengers can’t legally use it, even for passing….

and gets stuck behind a car in its own lane that won’t move to the right.

 

Some people, then, will tailgate, to try to make the slow car speed up…

or impatiently pass on the right, even zigzag dangerously between lanes.

So do drunk drivers… and idiots staring at their phones don’t notice quickly enough.

With predictable results. Boom.

Outstanding!

I am finding that driving in the right/slow lane is faster than the left/passing lane these days. When 18 wheelers are in the left/passing lane you know that the right/slow lane is faster.

Wish 1. The ability to disable those loud thumping stereos. Wish 2. The ability to change all the red lights to green for my car. Wish 3. To have a parking spot open up for me with a meter that has all the time left on it.

I wish I may, I wish I might, make a wish ………wait! What?

I’d reserve at least one wish for transforming tailgating vehicles into bicycles.

Simultaneously, another genie is granting someone three wishes to turn all the cars of reckless drivers into scooters.

The problem is… "Slow" is a relative term.