Brevity by Dan Thompson for July 05, 2021

Elsie?

I sat down be-cider and milked that pun…

just trying to a moos her…. how herd cud it be?

Heifer nother, I offered…. (hay, get a little alcohol in-cider and she’s in the mooed to laugh.)

The barkeep, however, was udderly unimpressed.

He kept casting a bale-full eye in our direction…

till I said “Hay, man… don’t have a cow… we’re just having a little pun!”

Unexpectedly, he said “Cheese, I’m sorry…. I guess I’m an an out-cider when it comes to knowing what’s punny.”

“Don’t brie sorry!” I said.

So next week we’re taking him to the Pun House for a pint, and more cheesy jokes than he’s ever herd.

Quick, everyone — Susan Sunshine needs an intervention. NOW!!!

Looks to me like Elsie Borden’s been put out to pasture.

She seems contented enough.

Would you like a vodkow chaser?

https://www.lcbo.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/en/lcbo/vodka-15019/vodkow-11573#.YOLho-hKhhE

that’s a hard order to fill…

Are allowed while you’re still lactating?

There is very little bull in these comments—because no one has mentioned how horny the boozy bovine appears. Trust me—this animal is not lactating.

Doesn’t ring a bell.

“OK, you’ll like this one; I wouldn’t steer you wrong”

The guy in the hat doesn’t seem to be in a good mooed….

Moo juice would be better.

She sounds a bit bossy.

I wonder if they are from this farm

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lzGkB6YO9Yc

(Cider in UK = Hard Cider USA)

Sorry, but he’s immune to such an order, especially from a Bossy customer.

There’s a place outside Topeka KS that sells Cider Slushees. Oh. My. God.

Will it give you herd immunity?