Brewster Rockit by Tim Rickard for May 01, 2021

Wonder how many licks it would take to get to… never mind.

I guess these characters are in poor taste.

Was that Mikey the Alien? He doesn’t like anything.

Hmmmm, maybe they can market ketchup to aliens!!

Could be mega Quatloos in the making!!

Carrot smiled, and then nodded at the cook behind the counter and cleared his throat noisily.

‘I think I might have a throat sweet somewhere —’ Angua began.

‘I was ordering breakfast,’ said Carrot.

‘You know the menu off by heart?’

‘Oh, yes. But it’s written on the wall as well.’

Angua turned and looked again at what she’d thought were merely random scratches.

’It’s Oggham,’ said Carrot. ‘An ancient and poetic runic script whose origins are lost in the mists of time but it’s thought to have been invented even before the Gods.’

‘Gosh. What does it say?’

Carrot really cleared his throat this time.

‘Soss, egg, beans and rat 12p Soss, rat and fried slice l0p Cream-cheese rat 9p Rat and beans 8p Rat and ketchup 7p Rat 4p’

‘Why does ketchup cost almost as much as the rat?’ said Angua.

‘Have you tried rat without ketchup?’ said Carrot.

Well, you was lucky those alien kids didn’t eat junk food.

They were one letter from being consumed. Kids love PBJs. Good thing they had Cliff with them.

Meddle not in the affairs of aliens for you are crunchy and good with ketchup.

So is Pam really steering, while Brewster has a training yoke?

Spared empty calories, lucky buggers!

Ketchup? No thanks.

For Pete’s sake, every space squid knows you put mustard on a human, never ketchup!

The trick is to have some Vogon poetry memorized.

Just be happy they didn’t have bbq sauce

Diving into that hot sauce bottle was a great idea, too.

Think how the Dodo Bird might have survived, if they could only be eaten with unavailable condiments. Their evolutionary misfortune was to be both slow and delicious.

Sometimes Brewster comes up with the Correct answer.