Religion has actually convinced people that there’s an invisible man – living in the sky – who watches everything you do, every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a special list of ten things he does not want you to do.. And if you do any of these ten things, he has a special place, full of fire and smoke and burning and torture and anguish, where he will send you to live and suffer and burn and choke and scream and cry forever and ever ‘til the end of time! ..But He loves you.
written by George Carlin
Yeah, it’s funny what conclusions people can jump to when they only pay attention to 0.1% of the Bible without reading the rest. Can’t be helped that they have no attention span.
Oh Calvin, you are adorable, but I’m glad I’ve got girls and no boys. My girls are terrified of creepy crawly things. The down side to that is that they make me catch (or kill) the intruders. I once put playtex gloves on to grab a lizard. It was still really nasty.
si_rat, at least understand the claims you wish to ridicule. The 10 commandments you refer to were part of a contract between God and Israel. If they kept them (and all the other laws), they would have material prosperity, freedom from disease, and victory over enemies. If they failed to keep them, they would have famine, plague, and subjugation to the surrounding nations. Nothing about hell fire. (and of course, you can guess the outcome given human nature in general.)
For hell-fire, you need to move to the new Testament where Jesus explains that the Law was an introduction to righteousness for beginners. “The law says ‘do not murder’, but I say if you hate your brother, you have committed murder in your heart. The law says ‘do not commit adultery’, but I say if a man looks upon a woman to lust after her, he has committed adultery in his heart.”
Lack of true righteousness is what leads to the misery and despair of “the trash heap out back”. “Except your righteousness exceed that of the Scribes and Pharisees, you shall not enter the Kingdom of Heaven.”
HAD to come over here right away just glanced.
Will read comments after I post this link!
you might already seen. LOLOLOLOOL
Reality Check 1.26.09
http://comics.com/affiliate/seattle/?ComicID=73
“what’s the matter? Don’t you trust your own kid?” Pretty well says it all Calvin. Dad doesn’t have to close his eyes, in pane 3 they are rolled back to his brain! LOL
doctortoon says:
si_rat - You’re a day late. The religious discussion was yesterday.
However, Dad doesn’t seem to have much ‘faith’ in Calvin to give him a nice surprise, does he?
I think Calvin had a frog. I don’t know why I thought that, but it was the first thing in my mind! LOL. Dad almost ate something! Good thing it got away! ;)
I wish that the Secularists and the Religionists would just shut up.
Calvin and Hobbes is a comic strip; why not enjoy it and keep your beliefs to yourselves. There are plenty of other public forums where your arguments would be welcomed.
there are some way deep discussions on this page. what the heck happend to good ol calvin and hobbes… and Staurt Gathman dude… woah… just wow. Isnt there another place to discuss all this????
why does si-rat read calvin and hobbes just to slam God? its a COMIC STRIP! God isn’t an angry old guy waiting to smite us. murder isn’t wrong because the commandments say so, but they say so because it is wrong. God doesn’t tempt us to break his commandments so we can burn. we weren’t even created with a desire to sin. God sent Christ to the cross becuase his standard for getting into heaven is perfection, which none of us have. That is what christianity is. look up the ‘romans road’ you’ll see what I mean.
The truly sad thing about all the religious / non religious folks out there is that they all use their so-called ‘beliefs’ as an excuse for their behaviours and blame others beliefs for all their life’s shortfalls. The only entity responsible for what happens in your life is YOU. YOU make good things happen, not some almighty irreverent being. YOU make bad things happen, not some random Omnipotent entity. I find it impossible to comprehend that in this day’s society there are so many people with such weak minds. Your ancestors must have been the ones who believed the sky would fall, the earth was flat and that persecution in the name of religion was justifiable. There is no difference between one fanatic crying “oh Allah” and another crying “lord Jesus”. You’re all gullible fools without the ability to make your own conclusions. Now if you could all please just go away and let the rest of us enjoy the comix in peace it would be much appreciated.
I see nothing in today’s strip that should have started another argument about matters of faith. But since it was brought up I will say I agree with Stuart Gathman and leave it at that.
Thank you, Macushlalondra. and Elwoodman, Jesus is not Muhammad. Muhammad was a killer who taught people to convert and kill those who won’t. Jesus never killed anyone but was crucified for teaching the way to heaven, forgiving the people who killed him. Islam is a religion like every other beleif out there saying work to get to heaven.
A question for all of you. Which place would you like to go after death (assuming ofcourse that heaven and hell exist)?
Methinks hell would be fun. Imagine sneaking out for a day from hell (past those guards and dogs) and having a great time at heaven. The next day you would get double the fire, but well, you would still be the hero in hell. You will have fun stories to tell. Heaven seems a tad boring that way.
How did ‘Open your mouth and close your eyes, and you will get a big surprise’ turn into a religious discussion???
Anyway since it’s happening already, in answer to attyush, I’d want to go wherever the dogs go when they go to the Big Kennel In The Sky. The afterlife would be miserable without dogs!! Assuming one believes in the afterlife as opposted to, say, reincarnation.
@ Si_rat: The idea of a God who tortures people in hell fire for eternity but who is supposedly a God of love is repulsive and disgusting. That’s why I don’t believe it. Hell will not last forever, rather the unholy will be burned as brush is burned, and be gone (see Matt. 3:7-10, 13:24-30. My God IS a god of love, not a bleeep. And the fire that will occur is not “punishment”, death is the natural result of separation from God. Also, a person who follows the “set of ten rules” is not guaranteed to get into heaven. The commandments are designed to make us the healthiest, happiest people we can be, but they are not what counts. What counts is having a personal relationship with Christ, and perhaps obedience to the commandments will follow.
@ Stuart Gathman: I believe your view of God is somewhat distorted. You make him out to be not only a bleeep, but a megalomaniac as well.
@doctortoon, correct, but no matter how out of context, a good debate SHOULD BE FOLLOWED UP.
back to Calvin, I wonder what “it” was? a fly? a bee? (I know, you say he’d get stung, but small children like Calvin often have a strange ability not to. My little brother routinely handles hornets without harm. Freaks me out), or something worse?
@ concerned_human: politicians.. yuck. I think you have been influenced rather strongly by their interpretation of the Bible. Politicians were hated just as much back then as now. In Matthew 22;21 where it says to “render unto Ceasar what is Ceasar’s” I believe the emphasis is on the unimportance of money, it’s just a symbol Caesar made for himself. In Matthew 17:25-27, the implication would be that paying taxes is unnecessary (the sons are free vs. 26). “Nevertheless, lest we offend them…” It is the act of offending that Christ is worried about, paying taxes is not espoused as some holy act.
Wow. Clearly I’m not the only one who enjoys these debates. I’d like to propose finding another place where we could have forums for religious debates prompted by our daily comics. That way, one comment on the comic page could lead to the debate for those who are interested and be skipped by those who aren’t. Problem is, I don’t know of a good place to suggest. Any ideas?
astonishing how one simple reference to purgatory could prompt two days of religious gibberish and debate. You people need to get a LIFE. This is a COMIC. It’s meant to be FUNNY. No one gives a bleeep about your spiritual beliefs and religious debates. Have a laugh, and MOVE ON. God is dead. Long live Hobbes!!
There are thousands upon thousands of forums for religious debate. We should leave this one to enjoying the simply complex humor of a comic mastermind.
funny one. i would not have opened my mouth in the first place, but that is just me. where is Hobbes in all this?? i bet calvin would have blamed it on hobbes if he managed to get whatever it was into dads mouth. lol
It is always enjoyable and enlightening to see all of the “non-believers” whine and cry about … nothing! I believe that Jesus Christ is the Son of God and that unless you repent and believe you will be judged for your sin. BUT you say that He does not even exist and that I believe in nothing. I understand why I get worked up about the subject, but I am amazed at how worked up atheists get over what they believe does not exist.
And certainly before some brilliant philosopher decides to claim that they are against religion because of the harm it causes, history indicates that more people have been killed thanks to atheistic philosophies.
Why yes, I am sacred, but I used to be a foolish atheist. I did have the sense to convert to agnosticism first though, realizing that a rational person understands he cannot disprove the existence of God.
Ah, my dear rat-a-roni, if one is interested in a rational discussion one CAN indeed prove that God must exist. Class is in session at http://www.ligonier.org/ under the Video section starting on January 15th. The only rational conclusion is that it is irrational to NOT believe in God.
I decided a week ago that I’m grouping God in with Ghosts, Goblins, and the Bogeyman. Something written 4000 or 2000 years ago by people who don’t speak or write in the same language as us does not deserve to be the sole reason for 30% of the world to get up in the morning. I forget who said it, but the way you live your life is your choice, make it because it’s the right choice, not the one you “should” make.
Yukoner almost 16 years ago
Way to go Calvin. Build Dad’s trust!
margueritem almost 16 years ago
I wouldn’t trust you either, Calvin
si_rat almost 16 years ago
Religion has actually convinced people that there’s an invisible man – living in the sky – who watches everything you do, every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a special list of ten things he does not want you to do.. And if you do any of these ten things, he has a special place, full of fire and smoke and burning and torture and anguish, where he will send you to live and suffer and burn and choke and scream and cry forever and ever ‘til the end of time! ..But He loves you. written by George Carlin
wndrwrthg almost 16 years ago
Wise to your ways he is, oh grasshopper.
SaintRCat almost 16 years ago
@si_rat
Yeah, it’s funny what conclusions people can jump to when they only pay attention to 0.1% of the Bible without reading the rest. Can’t be helped that they have no attention span.
R.Khalife almost 16 years ago
i wouldnt trust him either..wonder what it was tho..
JerryGorton almost 16 years ago
Did this suggest a bible lesson?
rentier almost 16 years ago
Grasshopper, maybug, cockroach or worm.
Elyseettinger almost 16 years ago
maybug’s have more resistance to radiation than cockroaches but look at dad’s face in the last panel!
carmy almost 16 years ago
Oh Calvin, you are adorable, but I’m glad I’ve got girls and no boys. My girls are terrified of creepy crawly things. The down side to that is that they make me catch (or kill) the intruders. I once put playtex gloves on to grab a lizard. It was still really nasty.
Unclebup almost 16 years ago
I’m goign to try that on a few folks in the office today… “Open your mouth and close your eyes, and I’ll give you a big surprise!”
DesultoryPhillipic almost 16 years ago
Even money George Carlin changed his mind on the last day of his life. Most sane people do.
rentier almost 16 years ago
Dad looks a little bit sad in the last picture. He had not expect, his son would do such a joke to him!
Cornelius16 almost 16 years ago
the sad thing with surprises is that, sometime we end up surprising ourselves instead of others.
stuart almost 16 years ago
si_rat, at least understand the claims you wish to ridicule. The 10 commandments you refer to were part of a contract between God and Israel. If they kept them (and all the other laws), they would have material prosperity, freedom from disease, and victory over enemies. If they failed to keep them, they would have famine, plague, and subjugation to the surrounding nations. Nothing about hell fire. (and of course, you can guess the outcome given human nature in general.)
For hell-fire, you need to move to the new Testament where Jesus explains that the Law was an introduction to righteousness for beginners. “The law says ‘do not murder’, but I say if you hate your brother, you have committed murder in your heart. The law says ‘do not commit adultery’, but I say if a man looks upon a woman to lust after her, he has committed adultery in his heart.”
Lack of true righteousness is what leads to the misery and despair of “the trash heap out back”. “Except your righteousness exceed that of the Scribes and Pharisees, you shall not enter the Kingdom of Heaven.”
BRPPTZ Premium Member almost 16 years ago
Uh oh. Sounds like George may have missed the part about the free trip to Heaven even when you don’t deserve it.
Cornelius16 almost 16 years ago
the sad thing with surprises is that, sometime we end up surprising ourselves instead of others.
Coldfusion almost 16 years ago
Lol…trust is not the word dad is looking for…talk about taking risk….lol
BirishB almost 16 years ago
“Don’t you trust your own kid?”
No, Calvin. I do not. You have given no reason to “trust” you.
EMandEM almost 16 years ago
Daddy knows better!….so to ‘peek’ :D
alife almost 16 years ago
HAD to come over here right away just glanced. Will read comments after I post this link! you might already seen. LOLOLOLOOL Reality Check 1.26.09 http://comics.com/affiliate/seattle/?ComicID=73
Wildmustang1262 almost 16 years ago
An invisible flea got away from Calvin.
JonD17 almost 16 years ago
“what’s the matter? Don’t you trust your own kid?” Pretty well says it all Calvin. Dad doesn’t have to close his eyes, in pane 3 they are rolled back to his brain! LOL
si_rat almost 16 years ago
Stuart Gathman says:…
Stuart I am not going ridicule “thou shall not murder” etc. You seems to miss the point.
How come the invisible man “watches everything you do, every minute of every day” fails to stop that !
Still are you justifying “burning and torture” to murder let alone adultery ?
JonD17 almost 16 years ago
Oh Man, is this page going to turn into a B.A.C. battlefield now?
si_rat almost 16 years ago
doctortoon says: si_rat - You’re a day late. The religious discussion was yesterday. However, Dad doesn’t seem to have much ‘faith’ in Calvin to give him a nice surprise, does he?
yes doc, I was quite late yesterday.
AndiJ almost 16 years ago
I think Calvin had a frog. I don’t know why I thought that, but it was the first thing in my mind! LOL. Dad almost ate something! Good thing it got away! ;)
geo111 almost 16 years ago
I wish that the Secularists and the Religionists would just shut up.
Calvin and Hobbes is a comic strip; why not enjoy it and keep your beliefs to yourselves. There are plenty of other public forums where your arguments would be welcomed.
topaz17 almost 16 years ago
there are some way deep discussions on this page. what the heck happend to good ol calvin and hobbes… and Staurt Gathman dude… woah… just wow. Isnt there another place to discuss all this????
carmy almost 16 years ago
Calvin’s hands are small so maybe it was a baby frog. I recently saw one in my garage. They are really quick and they jump far. You lucked out Dad!
coffeeturtle almost 16 years ago
can’t be any worse than cafeteria food. :-)
pjbear94 almost 16 years ago
COCKROACH!!!!
lazygrazer almost 16 years ago
I bet it was a tiny toad. Good thing dad didn’t fall for it or he would have a mouthful of warts, heh.
PaulAtreides almost 16 years ago
why does si-rat read calvin and hobbes just to slam God? its a COMIC STRIP! God isn’t an angry old guy waiting to smite us. murder isn’t wrong because the commandments say so, but they say so because it is wrong. God doesn’t tempt us to break his commandments so we can burn. we weren’t even created with a desire to sin. God sent Christ to the cross becuase his standard for getting into heaven is perfection, which none of us have. That is what christianity is. look up the ‘romans road’ you’ll see what I mean.
TumblingDragonRider almost 16 years ago
Calvin is so micheaveus I love him!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LOL
Elwoodman almost 16 years ago
The truly sad thing about all the religious / non religious folks out there is that they all use their so-called ‘beliefs’ as an excuse for their behaviours and blame others beliefs for all their life’s shortfalls. The only entity responsible for what happens in your life is YOU. YOU make good things happen, not some almighty irreverent being. YOU make bad things happen, not some random Omnipotent entity. I find it impossible to comprehend that in this day’s society there are so many people with such weak minds. Your ancestors must have been the ones who believed the sky would fall, the earth was flat and that persecution in the name of religion was justifiable. There is no difference between one fanatic crying “oh Allah” and another crying “lord Jesus”. You’re all gullible fools without the ability to make your own conclusions. Now if you could all please just go away and let the rest of us enjoy the comix in peace it would be much appreciated.
alondra almost 16 years ago
I see nothing in today’s strip that should have started another argument about matters of faith. But since it was brought up I will say I agree with Stuart Gathman and leave it at that.
PaulAtreides almost 16 years ago
Thank you, Macushlalondra. and Elwoodman, Jesus is not Muhammad. Muhammad was a killer who taught people to convert and kill those who won’t. Jesus never killed anyone but was crucified for teaching the way to heaven, forgiving the people who killed him. Islam is a religion like every other beleif out there saying work to get to heaven.
SamFP almost 16 years ago
Do we need to get a church in here!I think Calvin would say “Tortellini’!
wndrwrthg almost 16 years ago
Man created god in his own image.
nyer73 almost 16 years ago
dad must’ve sat on the mini-toad!! the reaction on his face says so!.. :)
marvee almost 16 years ago
Never mind where I”ll spend eternity - where is Brenda Starr today?
attyush almost 16 years ago
A question for all of you. Which place would you like to go after death (assuming ofcourse that heaven and hell exist)?
Methinks hell would be fun. Imagine sneaking out for a day from hell (past those guards and dogs) and having a great time at heaven. The next day you would get double the fire, but well, you would still be the hero in hell. You will have fun stories to tell. Heaven seems a tad boring that way.
howlindawgs almost 16 years ago
How did ‘Open your mouth and close your eyes, and you will get a big surprise’ turn into a religious discussion??? Anyway since it’s happening already, in answer to attyush, I’d want to go wherever the dogs go when they go to the Big Kennel In The Sky. The afterlife would be miserable without dogs!! Assuming one believes in the afterlife as opposted to, say, reincarnation.
d0e8r almost 16 years ago
@ Si_rat: The idea of a God who tortures people in hell fire for eternity but who is supposedly a God of love is repulsive and disgusting. That’s why I don’t believe it. Hell will not last forever, rather the unholy will be burned as brush is burned, and be gone (see Matt. 3:7-10, 13:24-30. My God IS a god of love, not a bleeep. And the fire that will occur is not “punishment”, death is the natural result of separation from God. Also, a person who follows the “set of ten rules” is not guaranteed to get into heaven. The commandments are designed to make us the healthiest, happiest people we can be, but they are not what counts. What counts is having a personal relationship with Christ, and perhaps obedience to the commandments will follow.
@ Stuart Gathman: I believe your view of God is somewhat distorted. You make him out to be not only a bleeep, but a megalomaniac as well.
@doctortoon, correct, but no matter how out of context, a good debate SHOULD BE FOLLOWED UP.
Mowgli-Chiara almost 16 years ago
I know heavens has everything I like and love, my wife, my dogs, comics, and AW root beer floats sunrises, sunsets, etc :-p
d0e8r almost 16 years ago
back to Calvin, I wonder what “it” was? a fly? a bee? (I know, you say he’d get stung, but small children like Calvin often have a strange ability not to. My little brother routinely handles hornets without harm. Freaks me out), or something worse?
d0e8r almost 16 years ago
@ concerned_human: politicians.. yuck. I think you have been influenced rather strongly by their interpretation of the Bible. Politicians were hated just as much back then as now. In Matthew 22;21 where it says to “render unto Ceasar what is Ceasar’s” I believe the emphasis is on the unimportance of money, it’s just a symbol Caesar made for himself. In Matthew 17:25-27, the implication would be that paying taxes is unnecessary (the sons are free vs. 26). “Nevertheless, lest we offend them…” It is the act of offending that Christ is worried about, paying taxes is not espoused as some holy act.
carmy almost 16 years ago
Is is weird that Calvin said “he” got away instead of “it” got away?
SlyGuy54 almost 16 years ago
Calvin you make me laugh. You AND your evil ways.
Oh and, what is up with all these religious comments! I don’t think this comic strip had ANYTHING to do with religion.
widjibeaker almost 16 years ago
Wow. Clearly I’m not the only one who enjoys these debates. I’d like to propose finding another place where we could have forums for religious debates prompted by our daily comics. That way, one comment on the comic page could lead to the debate for those who are interested and be skipped by those who aren’t. Problem is, I don’t know of a good place to suggest. Any ideas?
JTRaine almost 16 years ago
astonishing how one simple reference to purgatory could prompt two days of religious gibberish and debate. You people need to get a LIFE. This is a COMIC. It’s meant to be FUNNY. No one gives a bleeep about your spiritual beliefs and religious debates. Have a laugh, and MOVE ON. God is dead. Long live Hobbes!!
Iamborntopraise almost 16 years ago
Right on Stuart Gathman!
wndrwrthg almost 16 years ago
If you wish to believe in a particular mythology, fine and dandy. Just don’t seek to lay your fantasies on me.
jweb1510 almost 16 years ago
There are thousands upon thousands of forums for religious debate. We should leave this one to enjoying the simply complex humor of a comic mastermind.
tabbylynn almost 16 years ago
funny one. i would not have opened my mouth in the first place, but that is just me. where is Hobbes in all this?? i bet calvin would have blamed it on hobbes if he managed to get whatever it was into dads mouth. lol
Zippy007 almost 16 years ago
It is always enjoyable and enlightening to see all of the “non-believers” whine and cry about … nothing! I believe that Jesus Christ is the Son of God and that unless you repent and believe you will be judged for your sin. BUT you say that He does not even exist and that I believe in nothing. I understand why I get worked up about the subject, but I am amazed at how worked up atheists get over what they believe does not exist.
Zippy007 almost 16 years ago
And certainly before some brilliant philosopher decides to claim that they are against religion because of the harm it causes, history indicates that more people have been killed thanks to atheistic philosophies.
si_rat almost 16 years ago
Zippy007 says: Of course religious people killed more people, but that’s not the point.
No one can prove the existence of fairies. So, what makes you get so worked up ? Looks like you are really sacred
Zippy007 almost 16 years ago
si_ratty,
Why yes, I am sacred, but I used to be a foolish atheist. I did have the sense to convert to agnosticism first though, realizing that a rational person understands he cannot disprove the existence of God.
si_rat almost 16 years ago
yes, one cannot prove/disprove the existence of fairies.
zombiedragon almost 16 years ago
I wonder what that thing was…
Zippy007 almost 16 years ago
Ah, my dear rat-a-roni, if one is interested in a rational discussion one CAN indeed prove that God must exist. Class is in session at http://www.ligonier.org/ under the Video section starting on January 15th. The only rational conclusion is that it is irrational to NOT believe in God.
ScoundrelSon almost 16 years ago
I think Calvin had nothing in his hands the entire time.
si_rat almost 16 years ago
ScoundrelSon says: I think Calvin had nothing in his hands the entire time.
:) grate
si_rat almost 16 years ago
Zippy007 says: Calvin also did some rationalization once. He decided to believe in Santa so that he wont miss out the loot.
Gretchen's Mom almost 16 years ago
OF COURSE your dad doesn’t trust you, Calvin. He’s familiar with your work!!!!!
Marderofski almost 16 years ago
I decided a week ago that I’m grouping God in with Ghosts, Goblins, and the Bogeyman. Something written 4000 or 2000 years ago by people who don’t speak or write in the same language as us does not deserve to be the sole reason for 30% of the world to get up in the morning. I forget who said it, but the way you live your life is your choice, make it because it’s the right choice, not the one you “should” make.
dsbairdks over 15 years ago
Developing Trust
dsbairdks over 15 years ago
Developing Trust
Loki91308 over 2 years ago
Why would Calvin think this has a snowball’s chance of working? And why would he want to do this? Also, please keep the debate about god off here.