Close to Home by John McPherson for September 01, 2014

Aaahhh, the joys of motherhood.

Are we sure the teen didn’t gain 2.3% weight?

Those aren’t bad moms … just rotten kids..

So do it yourselves.

The only one that really applies to us was the second – don’t make eye contact on a school trip. On the other hand, it’s fun to watch them gag. And if you want to have even more fun, be the cool parent that all the other kids like (drives your kids crazy).

One time I drove my girlfriend’s 14 year old daughter to school. She had a precise time for us to leave. I pulled up in front of the school and stopped.“Not Here! Not Here!,” she screamed; as if I was about to let her step out into a forest fire. Turns out I was dropping her off at the “uncool” area in front of the school.

I can actually relate to the “trying to pass off two similar socks as a matching pair” situation, as my mother has done it before. The difference is that typically I don’t make much of a hullabaloo about it.

People who criticize volunteer services are agreeing to perform the service themselves.

Worse: teach at the same high school your son attends and be the popular teacher. Mwah ha ha ha!