Pirates never bring a big enough chest. In pictures their gold coins are always overflowing and they can’t get the lid closed. Why is that? I think that maybe with the eye-patches, they have poor depth perception”— John Mulaney
This sailor met a pirate in a bar, and the sailor couldn’t help but notice that the pirate was pretty badly the worse for wear. He had a peg leg, a hook, and an eye patch.
So, the sailor asked the pirate how he got the peg leg, and the pirate answered, “Well mate, I got washed up overboard one night while we were in a fierce storm. and dern me if a shark didn’t go and bite off me leg.”
Then the sailor asked, “So, how’d you get the hook?” and the pirate answered, “Well, we was in a fierce fight while boarding a ship one time, and that’s when I got me hand cut off.”
Finally, the sailor asked, “So, how’d you get the eye patch?” and the pirate responded, “A seagull pooped in me eye.”
“You mean to tell me you lost an eye just because a seagull pooped in it?”
I’ve read pirates don’t wear patches because they’re blind. They have a tiny pinhole to allow a little light so they don’t cause permanent damage. The purpose of the patch is to get the eye used to the dark so they can attack other ships at night.
Leroy over 9 years ago
Pirates never bring a big enough chest. In pictures their gold coins are always overflowing and they can’t get the lid closed. Why is that? I think that maybe with the eye-patches, they have poor depth perception”— John Mulaney
whiteheron over 9 years ago
Oh sure, make fun of the blind in one eye folks. Have you no heart? Have you no shame? You must be a “blindinoneeyeaphobe” !!!!!
J Short over 9 years ago
He gets half off on eye exams and manicures.
MeGoNow Premium Member over 9 years ago
Come on, doc. Trying to cover his left eye during your last exam is why there’s no need to cover it now.
Dewed over 9 years ago
Read the bottom line
“Printed In The USA”
Poollady1 over 9 years ago
……………then pick up these toothpicks with your left hand, and skip across the floor……………..
BrookFan over 9 years ago
This sailor met a pirate in a bar, and the sailor couldn’t help but notice that the pirate was pretty badly the worse for wear. He had a peg leg, a hook, and an eye patch.
So, the sailor asked the pirate how he got the peg leg, and the pirate answered, “Well mate, I got washed up overboard one night while we were in a fierce storm. and dern me if a shark didn’t go and bite off me leg.”
Then the sailor asked, “So, how’d you get the hook?” and the pirate answered, “Well, we was in a fierce fight while boarding a ship one time, and that’s when I got me hand cut off.”
Finally, the sailor asked, “So, how’d you get the eye patch?” and the pirate responded, “A seagull pooped in me eye.”
“You mean to tell me you lost an eye just because a seagull pooped in it?”
“Well, it was the first day with me hook…”
kleanerz over 9 years ago
I’ve read pirates don’t wear patches because they’re blind. They have a tiny pinhole to allow a little light so they don’t cause permanent damage. The purpose of the patch is to get the eye used to the dark so they can attack other ships at night.