Close to Home by John McPherson for January 15, 2021

Here comes the loonies!

4 hours is quite long for detention. Goes right into dinner hour.

Pardons pardons, sounds familiar, doesn’t it!!!!

A 4-hour detention is worse for the the one having to administer it.

Is that the future Trump?

We’ll have to see what the Supreme Principal says about your self pardon.

Good luck with that.

3pm – 7pm for detention? Wow, they’re tough these days. 40 years ago, it was just one hour.

Some one is about to get impeached.

never heard of a four hour detention before

Four-hour detention? I never had detention for more than an hour.

Could’ve used that in high school

Good try! Some kid will try this. I’d take the 3 day suspension(vacation) for not showing up.

Dang! That’s almost political.

Hmm, our school never had detention, at least as far as I can recall.

Gather ‘round kids, it’s time for another mask story from yer ol’ Uncle Dobie!

Well kids, I did it again, I forgot to put my mask on going into a convenience store, but not the same store this time.

Well , I probably had maybe four… teen Red Bull’s… way too many, by the way… but, I didn’t realize that I didn’t have it until I got to the counter and saw the clerk with her mask on. And, she was behind this high-tech, plexiglass screen. Well, I began to apologize profusely, while waiting to be Taser’d, when to my surprise, she calmly said… “that’s okay.“

Well kids, with that much caffeine, I’m capable of seeing things with the naked eye, that most people can’t see. You know, parameciums, molecules, atoms, and stuff. Well, that’s when I saw it… right there on that plexiglass… a MICROBE! I recognized it, ‘cause that’s all I seem to see on TV now!

I immediately grabbed a magazine off the rack right next to the counter, rolled it up and took to swattin’ that thing, like trying to smash a spider!

That poor clerk freaked out and yelled “what are you doing”, and I said: “I’m trying to squash a microbe on the plexiglass”, and she said “there’s nothing there, you’re seeing things, and it’s probably the Red Bull, ‘cause I can smell it on you!”

… then she said: “it’s okay, I’ve seen this before… that’s a LOT of caffeine and you didn’t really harm anything… well except for that magazine you destroyed… so that’ll be $5.75…”

Well kids, I only had seven bucks on me, so I decided to retreat, because at $5.75 per magazine… I was gonna run outa ammo pret-ty darn quick!

Now kids, as I usually ask, please don’t say anything to your Aunt… ‘cause she’s probably gonna mention that some of her magazines seem to be missing… soooo, I’d appreciate it if we could just keep this one between us!

For now and forever….

We could debate for a long time over the efficacy of even having a power to pardon, but it’s good to remember that, ultimately, there is only ONE reason for a pardon, and that is guilt.

He could find himself elected to Detention-for-Life.

Bleeb playin’ it safe under the desk.

Apparently you think this is a democracy.

Bleeb kept them company. But detention from 3-7?? I wouldn’t stay that long.

My college experience would have been much different if my SBP had been granted pardon power….

It’s a ceremonial title, Kid.

He learned from the top!