Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for March 15, 2014

What about if the pool were filled with something else than water? In Rat’s case, it’d be filled with beer. Me, maybe 7 Up.

Charlie Brown once said that the key to happiness is owning a lake and a convertible. On clear days you can drive with the top down, and on rainy days you can say, “Oh well, this rain will fill up my lake.”

Happiness is a warm puppy.

Fortuitous bypasser crashes Rat’s wold-view. Hmm. Probably wasn’t all that strong to begin with. A pool is not nearly enough stuff for the likes of Rat….

That guy just saved Rat a lot of money.

Awful philosophical for a punslinger

“No sooner do we sit down to enjoy our acquisitions, than we find them insufficient to fill up the vacuities of life.”—Samuel Johnson

On the other hand, a total absence of acquisitions doesn’t fill up much either.

You can’t have everything. Where would you put it? - Steven Wright

I don’t have a pool and I am happy!

He just needs a Satisfied Mind.

What you want is a friend with a pool.

I swear those dinner plates are trying to meet…mate, or maybe just a date

Pools are like pets; they take WAY too much time, money and hassle for the few moments of happiness they provide.

Not having money does not make me happy.I would like to try having money, and see if that makes me happy.Anyone got a spare million or two I can have?

how can he be happy ?He has no Mouth !How many other people scrolled back up to look?

Stephan’s joke is over my head today. Any hints?

I put in an inground 18′×36′ pool 10 years ago, and love it. I spend 2 minutes a day checking the chemicals & adjusting if needed. An hour each Saturday morning to clean it, and it’s set for the week. Compared to maintaining my yard, house & cars, it is painless.

Rat had fallen for a common misunderstanding. A pool will not bring happiness – it’s a pool table that brings happiness.

My sole ambition in life has been to own a 25 meter 2-3 lane indoor pool. I feel so empty inside now.

Yeah, you need a hot tub.

I am a swimming pool, and I am offended.

A pool would be awesome….until it froze over in the winter.

So the guy with the pool isn’t happy. Different things make different people happy, so maybe Rat would be quite content if he had a pool.

Is it safe? Awesome book!!!

I think this was a 1960’s & 1970’s attitude. Now that most of the middle class seems to have pools, they’ve moved on to other status symbols, like stupid huge luxury SUVs.

Well you’re not Rat, random guy in a bar, so that explains it.