B.C. by Mastroianni and Hart for January 22, 2015

  1. Avat
    Richard Howland-Bolton Premium Member almost 10 years ago

    When I first came to America and settled in Rochester I taught for the City School District.

    One day I happened to take a shortcut through the gym where some of my students were playing basketball. Now I should tell you right away that I had never played basketball—-I’m a football player (soccer I mean) and I haven’t been able to get past the fact that the players never seem to kick the ball or how the referees allow all those handballs, seems unfair to me—-and anyway when I went to school in England the girls played a game called netball that was remarkably identical to basketball and that left me with an inerradicable unease with the game.

    So that was the background I brought to crossing the gym that fateful day. “Yo Mr H-B!” one of my students cried as he caught sight of me, and promptly but casually tossed the ball to me. Caught at unawares I caught the ball, one-handed as I had books and files under the other arm, and, forgetting my lack of history with the game, I threw the ball to make a perfect basket—from somewhere near the center line! Boy! Did I impress those students—it was well worth the sacrifice of never taking that shortcut again to be on the safe side.

    And of course I’ve never touched a basketball since.

    Think of it: one hundred percent of my shots for my entire basketball carreer scored.

    I bet even Michael Jordan doesn’t have a success rate like that! And just because I knew when to quit the sport (unlike Mr Jordan apparently).

     •  Reply
  2. Picture 001
    rshive  almost 10 years ago

    Better not let Junior practice a fast break.

     •  Reply
  3. Iroh
    jim_pem  almost 10 years ago

    “Son, nothing is free.”

     •  Reply
  4. Missing large
    dflak  almost 10 years ago

    Basketball redefines space-time.

    On one end of the spectrum, we have the New York Minute. A New York Minute is 60 New York Seconds. A New York Second is the time it takes light to travel from the green signal to the car behind you and the driver of that car honking his horn.

    On the other end of the spectrum is the Basketball Minute which is relativistic time. The closer you get to the end of the game, the longer a Basketball Minute lasts. It is mathematically defined as a convergent series as the number of fouls approaches infinity.

     •  Reply
  5. Img 20240924 104124950 2
    David Huie Green LoveJoyAndPeace  almost 10 years ago

    he who knows not and knows not that he knows not is a fool, avoid himUnless he is your father in which case humor him.

     •  Reply
Sign in to comment

More From B.C.