Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for October 04, 2015

At least Pig cares.

The results are negative Pig, you are not allergic to bacon. However, we do have bad news for Rat. The results are positive that he has no brain.

Also, when you drive in England, left is right and right is wrong.

The doctor isn’t contagious, is he?

Sounds like an old Abbott and Costello routine. But Pig actually is this obtuse.

LOL

I Don’t Know is on third.

Pig! “You’ve got to accentuate the positive, eliminate the negative and don’t mess with mister inbetween”.

“This is George Costanza, I’m calling for my test results. Negative? Oh, my God. WHY! WHY! WHY? What? What? Negative is good? Oh, yes of course! How stupid of me.”

The power of negative thinking.

Know why the Siamese twins wanted to go to England??So the other one could drive.. haha

“Only fools are positive.”.“Are you sure?”.“Positive…. dammit!”

That was so that right handed people passed on their “strong” side. If it is such a great idea, why have some countries changed to driving on the right? How many have changed to driving on the left?

next time, send an email Doc.

My late sister in law was killed when she was in one of the left lane travel countries. She forgot and looked the wrong way at a stop sign, then pulled out in front of another car.But bless her heart, she was dangerous over here as well.

That was positively hilarious. I mean… you know what I mean.

“the Brits still use realise”

Same as the U.S., but with a left handed ‘z’.

Ow—I think my head just exploded.

Two Negatives can make a Positive.In certain situations Subtraction can be Positive!

Of course, you realize, the spelling of realise is indicative of where you learned how to spell..The Japanese drive on the same side of the road as the British, which explains why early Japanese cars were copied from British cars instead of from American cars.

Conventions in road use for cars no doubt evolved from road use by carriages..Would some horseman among us explain why riding horses are usually mounted from the left side..I think it has to do with handedness, and the side a cavalry officer carried his sword..

in hebrew me is who, who is he, and ma’s leg means fork

i am positive that when i get negative on occasions that positive things can come from the negative response – at least i think so – but maybe negative is not able to be positive in some circumstances

Next time, just say “they’re clean.”

Imagine Pig trying to hook up jumper cables.

“Only fools are positive.”“You sure?”“Positive!”

Gosh if this is how Pig reacts to all medical tests then I doubt he’ll mentally be able to survive Covid