Basic Instructions by Scott Meyer for August 17, 2016

Oscar Meyer? Who he?

And growing up was your nickname B-o-l-o-g-n-a? Because you’re full of it!

“And everyone would singgggg…..Oh, I wish I were an Oscar Meyer wiener, that is what I really want to be….” (I humbly apologize)

My bologna has a first name,it’s Oscar,god,please,no more.

The kids would likely get to see sausage made OF oompa loompas. .(And waving your sausage scepter, while effective advertising, may get you arrested.)

Augustus unfortunately sang the song and got his wish. Then the Oompa Loompas sang about him. “He wished he were an Oscar Mayer wiener…”

I wonder if Scott regrets publishing this one.

Waving your sausage scepter in public may lead to your cellmates waving theirs. Just saying.

Please see the Ren & Stimpy episode “Wiener Barrons”http://vignette1.wikia.nocookie.net/renandstimpy/images/e/e0/Wiener_Barons.jpghttp://media.liveauctiongroup.net/i/7919/9687344_2.jpg

Also, I think they did a similar joke on the sitcom “Major Dad.” His assistant’s middle name was Ester. First name, Polly.