Doonesbury by Garry Trudeau for March 15, 1981

Transcript:

Man: And now if we could all rise for the Caribou Lodge anthem! Hooot, hooot, wacka hoot! So as Grand Hooter of the exalted order of Colorado Springs Caribou, I give you a genuine hero, the 33rd hostage, Ambassador Duke! Audience: Hoot! Hoot! Hoot! Duke: Thank you. Thank you very much for that weird welcome. I'm very touched. However, since your honorarium barely covers expenses, I'm afraid I'm going to have to pass on the speech and just take your questions instead. Man: Mr. Duke, were you subjected to any physical torture while you were a hostage? Duke: As a matter of fact, I was. During my first week of captivity, I was gagged and manacled to the spray nozzle in a hotel shower stall. While the guards chanted the Koran in the background, one of the female students poured honey and feathers all over the top of my head. Laughing sadistically, she then reached for the top button of her shirt, and... and... Man: And what? And what? Duke: I'm sorry. It's... it's too painful to recall for only 500 bucks.