Loose Parts by Dave Blazek for May 18, 2017

You’ve been working for half an eternity and this is all you’ve been able to come up with? There’s gonna be hell to pay!

Pure evil!

Sprinkle a little salt on the coaster. It won’t stick to the bottom of your glass afterwards.

This is also know as the law of selective gravitation. It’s the same principle that holds food to the fork until it clears the table and is over your lap. Selective gravitation was first discovered by Wyle E. Coyote.

Don’t forget to add the “then it rolls into the most inaccessible place in the area” feature. There’s got to be a special place in hell for that trick.

Yeah. It’s a cheap trick. But don’t laugh. He’s the guy who invented the One Last Drop bathroom trick for men.

Oooh nice, You’re gonna make life a living hell!

There are two way to defeat this insidious treachery of science.

1) With beer or soda cans, simply offset the bottom of the can from the edge of the coaster thus eliminating the vacuum created.

2) With cans, bottle, or glasses, tilt the vessel prior to lifting it, breaking the suction before lift off.

Of course I don’t have a cure for forgetting to do this and so have the inevitable “chase the coaster ’round the floor” on a regular basis. In fact, I believe I will go have a beer and practice.

I have an idea for an invention – a 5’ diameter coaster, with legs on it. People would sit around the coaster and chat, while using the coaster to set their drinks upon.

I always thought it was Maxwell’s Demons. The story said they’re the ones who gather whenever a slice of bread and jelly falls, and they gather on the right corner to assure that it falls jelly-side down. I wish I remember who wrote that piece.