Frog Applause by Teresa Burritt for July 29, 2017

Is two words a proper “phrase”?

And is the pineapple properly ripened? Because I really can’t abide green pineapple.

Yeah, Tao Lin. Two words does not a phrase make. Up your pineapple @$$ would work, though.

My favorite pineapple is the one dangling from the chain. “Offend my delicate sensibilities again, buster, and I’ll flog you with my pineapple chain!”

Get thee to a pinery.

The Flagellants of the Fundamentalist Church of Excellent Fruit.

Pass the pineapple please.

Pretty Please.

Yes. Two words is the minimum for a phrase. Most are longer. Do not doubt the inscrutable wisdom of the Virginians.

I wanted a piece of Pineapple’s ass, then I could not dole out the enlightenment to satisfy her.

Perhaps it was adding pineapple to Jell-0 pudding?

sesarhp dednemmocer sih dna niL oaF kcuT

Once again, I am impressed with Ms. Teresa’s ability to exegete a trendy source for narrative art.

Looks like the Trump admin celebrating 6 months in office.

Pineapple ass… sounds painful. FREE DOGSNIFF

Not as bad as pigeon toes.

Better than sheep’s bladder.

There was quite a satisfying moment in the movie Little Nicky. Ok, it’s an Adam Sandler movie, but please hear me out.

The movie deals with hell, and the devil and his sons.

As an incidental joke, we learn that Hitler has to report daily to have a pineapple shoved up his bum. (Not an exact quote.)

So, yeah… that was a good use of the phrase.

Are pineapple rings symbolic of the circles of hell?

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I make a pineapple upsidedown cake that is sinfully delicious. My daughter is visiting from out of state, and I always have one waiting to greet her when she arrives.

But I do use crushed pineapple, as opposed to the rings.

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So, since I don’t want to forgo the cake for piety’s sake, let’s just say that the crushed pineapple represents defeating the forces of hell.

Sort of like the principle behind the Friday frog leg fry I worked at, at the Knights of Columbus, back in junior high.

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Oh, lordy, what did I do?

Forgive me, Saint Teresa!

I knew not the Lame!

(I do believe I know it now, though.)

No one expected the psychotic pineapple Republican Inquisition!

https://english.stackexchange.com/questions/134659/why-is-pineapple-in-english-but-ananas-in-all-other-languages

Yeah, it’s piña colada, not ananas colada. I thought the fact that a pine cone was originally a pine apple was telling. It turns out that in those olden days, even back in roman times, they would call fruits apples, or whatever (or there was some common root to the words, which help confuse things). Can’t remember where I came across that.

Pineapple with Hüttenkäse together makes a delicious dessert..

Flip! Flip! Flip! Flip!

Pineapple flipsidedown cartoon!

So flippant!

I like this new Secret Order of the Pineapple, however. “Pineapple” was a slang term for a kind of hand grenade, back when the World (meaning I) Was Young….