Rubes by Leigh Rubin for December 09, 2017

  1. Sanity clause
    Doug Taylor Premium Member almost 7 years ago

    I’d like an omelet, plain, and a chicken salad sandwich on wheat toast, no mayonnaise, no butter, no lettuce. And a cup of coffee.

    A #2, chicken sal. sand. Hold the butter, the lettuce, and the mayonnaise, and a cup of coffee. Anything else?

    Yeah, now all you have to do is hold the chicken, bring me the toast, give me a check for the chicken salad sandwich, and you haven’t broken any rules.

    You want me to hold the chicken, huh?

    I want you to hold it between your knees.

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  2. Anim chromosomes
    chromosome Premium Member almost 7 years ago

    He IS holding it…

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  3. Missing large
    t jacobs  almost 7 years ago

    aww nuts!

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  4. Missing large
    Stephen Gilberg  almost 7 years ago

    In “Freefall,” an uplifted wolf was asked how she wanted her pizza. She said, “Extra meat, hold the sauce, hold the cheese, hold the bread.”

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