Frog Applause by Teresa Burritt for April 17, 2018

Beep Beep

Is that a grind in your gear box or are you just happy to see me?

Car lovers are creative enough when there’s four on the floor.

You will see, the back seat grows on you, until the britches come off.

Sure, they say, “all weather”, but your radials are useless in a winter climate.

Keep your eyes on the road..

Or snarking about the exhaust always emitting from their rear ends.

That’s what a car looks like after Vlad drives it across the ice bridge.

Something else comes to mind when you say to me high beams.

Today’s FA seems below even Teresa’s high standard for lameness. That’s the great thing about Frog Applause. There’s always the promise of spontaneous lameness - without that funny aftertaste.

Another way the Russians are spying on us: Ladas with eyes.

Recovering after another rousing game of bumper cars.

Standard reply to shift and deflect: “how do you like my triple carburetor?”

Unusual to see a Lada in such good condition.

Is that a Grace the Face air freshener hanging from the rear view? I wonder what it smells like? Probably like fresh linen, infused with the tears of insolent babies.

When it is time to change the oil, you should probably keep the oil and change the car.

I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather, not yelling and screaming like his passengers.

Have you seen those Russian car dash board videos on You Tube? Dang…

“… without mocking their stick shifts.”

Yes, it would seem that the Viking “long boat” logo, alone, would be fertile ground for taking the wind out of someone’s sails.

Right in the grill work!

.

Dick Van Dyke:

https://youtu.be/CWoSRNpFHcA

Those eyes! That is the saddest anthropomorphic car I’ve ever seen!

Looks a bit like Bill Murray.

And why do we wish to insult car-lovers, students?

Are we spandexed fans of Jef the Cyclist [ see Pearls Before Swine]? Or are we grumpy members of the automatic shift-only generation who can’t handle the stick shift?

Yes, we feel the love!

Party Car!

Texting behind the wheel..

four on the floor, three on the tree, two on the dash and one in the glove box