Richard's Poor Almanac by Richard Thompson for May 12, 2021

Transcript:

richard's poor almanac winter skywatch by richard thompson the big tangle the cheese grater boomike mr. twinkles lamisil horsehead bookends dust bunny nebula the winter sky is chock-full of all sorts of inter-esting objects, like mr. twinkles, the cute star, and constellations like the horsehead bookends & lamisil the disgusting toenail fungus mascot. but really, the only sky object we are worried about right now is snow. thanks to global warming, snowflakes are bigger, fatter & stickier! and they've developed a semi-sentient hive-mind capable of de-tecting & smothering all major dc area thoroughfares right at drivetime! man 1: no! man 2: not now! exacerbating this threat are the pagan rituals practiced by local children to increase the likelihood of snowfall. these rituals include chanting, wearing pajamas inside-out, flushing ice cubes & sacrificing barbies to bob ryan. parents! please rein in your little heathens now, before it snows again! oop: sweetheart, what are you doing? kid: ice cube, ice cube, in the pot, jeez, i hope it snows a lot!