Rip Haywire by Dan Thompson for May 16, 2020

“I thought it was ironic! You know, like a tall guy named ‘Shorty’.”

The Haywires can’t help it. As anyone who ever read Will Eisner’s comics knows the evil ones are hot.

“Said the guy who married a woman named Dr. Pain!” Somebody get Dutch some ice for that burn.

are you kidding dutch?!?!….it ain’t just heros that go to snooze land with a angel and wakes up with a demoness…..one day the the ordinary shmuck is told he is wonderful and the next told he is lazy, self-centered, empty headed lout, with a tiny dingus!…..of course i may have deserved that scolding…..yeah, i’m almost pretty sure…..yeah i did….ka-sigh…

So the “Alliance” is a typical governmental bureaucracy. They think they know what is going on, but don’t know what to do about it. Time to call another few dozen meetings!

Meanwhile their best operative is injured and could quite believably be held in the hospital for a few more nights.

But no, the morons running the “Alliance” decide to send him back to house keeping with the suspected traitor with orders to pretend like nothing has happened.

I guess they too are in disbelief that Breezy could be a traitor, and so it simply doesn’t occur to them that she might shoot Rip while he sleeps, or offer him an extra tall stack of arsenic pancakes for breakfast.

I mean, the “Alliance” thinks that Breezy has set up a hit on the stepson that she has raised and apparently doted on for the last eight or ten years. Surely that’s not a clue that she might do anything to Rip.

R.J., shouldn’t your fists be giggling by now?

Ah, well, Rip, we all make mistakes, even you; and you just made a whopper!

I lost a bit of the storyline, is this Rip (with a moustache) and Rip Jr ????

Its a good thing Rip has that sling, otherwise we’ll be hard put to tell him and RJ apart especially since they’re coordinating their outfits.

If all of this is true, I think I can learn to live with it. But if TNT betrays him, I doubt that I could get over it..

I had a dentist named Dr. Kairless, but I never razzed him about it.

KA-LIKE FATHER, LIKE SON!

I highly doubt that’s actually Breezy. I think it’s Lexy (Breezy’s evil cousin) impersonating her.

My theory is that after Jenkins escaped his prison, he made a deal with Breezy’s cousin to set her up and destroy her reputation and marriage. Then, once Rip has filed for divorce, Jenkins will woo her back with his new physique, and the two of them will raise Fireball and live happily ever after, getting his revenge on Rip once and for all.

Here’s hoping someone figures it out and it blows up in Jenkins’ face.

This is one of a myriad of universes.