Gil Thorp by Henry Barajas and Rachel Merrill for June 23, 2020

Fans?

P1: “We’ve seen this movie and know how it ends. It’s a bench clearing brawl that we’re going to start when we start to go down in triple digits.”

“P2: We have a secret weapon. It’s an exploding baseball! Some kid wearing a trench coat lined with whoopy cushions, rubber chickens, and fake snakes in cans sold it to me. Our first hitter will pulverize it and the Milford guys will cower like chickens!

P3: Game Day arrives and Marty Moon and his posse set up drinks for anyone with fake ID. No place for the Fistpump people, although Signman looks like he had a few before starting work on that sign.

“Get yer 150 proof Jamaican … err, lemonade heah-yah. Thass right, lemonade!”

They need some unrefrigerated sloppy joes to go with that Hoo

Looks like more than a quiet pick up game. But then again what the deuce are you going to do in Milford on a Sunday afternoon but go see the delinquents play the privileged class. That is, unless you are a member of Milford CC and then play a round of golf at Milford CC with GilPa or watch Mimi sunbathe by the pool.

P3- Hah Hah! THAT is Marty’s mobile bar. No mistake, that signage spells Drunks.

It says Drunks on my screen too.

Fans and concessions?

I’ve been to college games that had a crowd of about 20.

Did they hire someone to do PR?

In all reality , Wait until you see the VM cheerleaders Corina has recruited . They along with dançers from Jiggle’s Gentlemens Club will be showing various body parts and dance moves throughout the game to Team Milford distracting them .

“Attention, attention please. Get your pencils and scorecards ready, and I’ll give you the starting lineups for today’s ballgame …”

P1, Yeah, and they know yours. Your brain.

P2, Gil gets ready to throw out the first pitch.

P3, Gil only wishes he could see this many fans at any of his team’s games.

One drink: Has the Mayor changed monikers to Lefty or is that a sneaky, big-handed P2? Alternatives eschew traditional organ with a DRUMS line? Stands filling with dads, children, metal detectors, pea shooters. The Flying Nun as the secret weapon?!? Nice.

A concession stand?

Unfortunately, this was the movie the Mayor referred to: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0062301/

P1 – So what is he saying about how they know how the story ends? Is it that they get killed? Or that this is like the movies where the huge underdogs pull off the miracle?

P2 – Oh yeah, that will even things up. He knows that this guy can’t hit a curveball, and that guy is vulnerable up high, etc. And their pitcher who isn’t even playing this year of course can pitch exactly to their weaknesses. The thing is, Mayor, they know your weaknesses too. Your whole team!

P3 – What in holy hell? How could they have possibly reserved this field? With full stands, dugouts, etc.? You can’t just play pickup in places like that. I was expecting a diamond in some community park, just an open field with a backstop and bring your own bases.

And speaking of bringing your own, bring your own expectations, hopefully low ones, as you open and read today’s Mopped Up Thorp.

https://moppedupthorp.wordpress.com/

P-1: Wait!! You mean it isn’t Gil?

P-2: Wow, a public park with stands, concessions, and press box! I wonder what the Swings, Slide, and Monkey Bars look like. Do they offer play all day for one price like Disney?

For the 7th inning stretch a appearance by The Fonz who will jump a shark.

You’ve got to be kidding. The whole town is coming out for THIS? It’s a big secret, but apparently it’s been promoted all over the place. Predictions:

Realistically, Milford would win this game something like 24-0. Maybe 24-1. I think they still win, but it will be super close for reasons.

At the start and early in the game, Milford players will make derogatory comments about the low-life, beneath them Valley Modified players.

In the first inning, the Milford leadoff batter will ridicule Valley Modified for having a girl catcher. Corinna will give him a lot of lip and possibly a shot in the cup region. At some point during the game she’ll give someone a hard shot at the plate, or on the bases. They will all love her by the end of the game.

Gil and Kaz will be spotted watching the game from behind the trees, wearing fake nose and glasses disguises.

When the game ends with a narrow Milford victory, the Mudlarks will give their utmost respect for how well the cons battled and apologize for how they made fun of them at the start. Lessons learned by all, all thanks to a misplaced butter knife.

I mean kitchen knife.

Yeah. Kaz was really sly with that wink yesterday about not spillin the beans

“Z” will come in and bean Mike With the comment “…what’s my name now, a$$wipe?…”

Is the Mayor planning to pitch?!?

How many people do they need to work the “Drinks” concession anyway?

Without Gil coaching, I think Milford may actually stand a chance.

P-3 A special seating area for drunks. Nice!

Good point, all. The “Drunks” section is packed while the rest of the stands have about 5 people total. And bonus – the Drunks section faces away from the field!

You would think someone would notice the short man with a rifle walking in and going to the press box roof.

Game called. Valley Modified stole all the bases