Pickles by Brian Crane for October 07, 2020

Even Roscoe knew that was the wrong answer.

Worse, it’s probably man soap.

Just under how many rocks has Earl been living?

Spouse uses the shared bar of soap, and some kind of hair detergent. I use only the soap from feet to head. It does make for a somewhat easier time finding things on the counter.

I’ve still got 3 bars on the shelf, but they’ve been there about ten years now. I prefer a good body wash with aloe.

Face wash? I think she mostly keeps it on her face. One time some of it fell on her shoulder and turned into a shoulder wash.

And Roscoe has an alternative solution.

Shampoo I think is Latin for head wash and shaving cream. The shampoo/conditioner has the anti razor burn stuff in it too. The big bottle from Sam’s club reminds me to change the smoke detector batteries when it runs out about every 5 years. Amazing the pump lasts that long and the bucket makes a handy shower bench for leg shaving and feet washing.

Body wash? So millennial!

Don’t need no stinkin’ body wash!

I think she used it up on Roscoe.

Opal probably hides it so that Earl doesn’t accidentally use it for something else!

My darling Grandma used just Camay soap and had very few wrinkles at 86 and such soft skin when she passed on (long ago). Being Italian may have helped too.

Oh, Sylvia knows where to find it.

For a true Body Wash you need a swimming pool. Dive in and now you have your body wash ;-)

Oy! There’s nothing like soap and water….all these body and facial washes are Bologna !

My body wash doubles (triples?) as shampoo and shaving cream. The toughest part about that is getting used to shaving without a mirror. Now that I have that down, I get 2/3rds of my morning routine (shower, shave) done and out of the way, leaving more quality time for the rest of my AM routine.

Jeez, the things they can sell people. I have a grandson who has to use body wash for a shower. “Soap doesn’t work, Gramps.” I can smell the boy 10 meters away, I guess that’s a plus. No way can he sneak up on someone.

Oooh! A line of soaps tailored for each area of the body! Nose soap,ear soap and away we go.

…with his pube hairs stuck all over it.

If it’s Irish Spring, it will be okay; she’ll like it too.

I have a bar of Lava soap she can use.

I was once complimented on my hair and asked what “product” did I use on it. I replied honestly, “Suave 2 in 1 shampoo and conditioner”

My face wash is Olay Regenerist…

In the bathroom. Duh!

Gadzooks, don’t want to visualize where it’s been.

Soap works-Dove.

And face wash is different from body wash and hand wash, right? I think it’s all hogwash.

Using moisturizers causes the skin to reduce its production of skin oil and natural moisturizers. The same is true for lip balm.

Meh. We use homemade soap. Simple ingredients such as commonly found food oils and yes – lye. Although in the proper creation of soap, all lye is used up in the saponification of the oils and fats. All soap uses lye for saponification. Detergent may not use lye, but it still needs something caustic in its creation.

If she’s doing anything with her face, it isn’t working.

That is what I use a bar of soap.

Men have about seven things in the bathroom besides soap, towel, and washcloth. They may include deodorant, shave cream, razor, after shave, hair stuff (for those who still have hair), comb, etc. etc. Women have about 100 items in the bathroom, over 50 of which a man cannot identify!

He’s right, though.

Earl and Opal have been married decades and he never noticed she used face wash?

Close enough.

I miss Sylvia’s pointy nose. She is starting to look “matronly” like her mother.

Face wash…bar of soap…same thing to a guy.