Brewster Rockit by Tim Rickard for June 03, 2021

“I’m changing banks.”

Hear hear. Just because a company can use an automated answering service doesn’t mean they should. They cannot account for all possible reasons someone would call and they only make the process slower and more aggravating.

Dirk finally found a way to defeat the R.U. Sirius. But even for him, this is pretty low.

The thing that bugs me the most is that when you finally connect to a real person, they ask you the same questions the automated system asked.

My bank’s automated voice service, here in France, still can’t cope with my British accent…

“Ok you’re a trained little monkey”

“I am not a robot.”

If you just refuse to make any sounds, eventually it gives up and tells you which buttons to press. Satisfying for some of us.

I don’t mind the ones that make you press a number to be connected to whichever department, but I really can’t stand the ones I have to actually talk to. It’s awkward.

And why must I press “1” for “Inglés”?

If my call is so important to you, then why don’t you just answer it?

Due to the high volume of calls, your wait time will be one year, 28 days and 10 hours. Please stay on the line. Your call is important to us.

Me, with LADWP yesterday

I’ve tried swearing at them, but to no avail. You are only asked to repeat what you said. My only hope is that they review the recordings and some how sense my frustration.

Think of all the money they save by making their customers do the jobs of the folks they won’t hire. Capitalism rocks!

…”but your call is important to us, you trained little monkey. Please stay on the line and keep grinding the organ and shaking the cup until a customer serviced representative is available…”

Wrong answer [click].

“Website trouble”

“Your problem can be solved on our website. Have a good day.” Click

So, owned by Verizon, huh?

i thought it would make her say, “i’m a little teapot, short & stout!”

“We can’t help you but thanks for the voice prints.”