Greetings, fellow comics fans! The O.F.W.T.J. (Old Men Who Tell Jokes) Society is growing big time; as an early member, I love seeing all the funny, clean (reasonably) humor we’re getting. I’m sure our founder, Stevesilver48, agrees. I’d say it humbles me, but I’m not sure what that word means. I don’t have a humble bone in my body. I do have a couple of humerus ones, though.
But wait – there’s more:
A woman is shopping in an antique parlor when she sees a cat drinking out of a porcelain dish. Looking closer, she realizes the dish is of an old and quite valuable manufacture. Thinking she might get a real bargain if she can just be subtle enough, she asks the elderly shopkeeper if she could buy the cat.
“Certainly, Ma’am,” the proprietor replies. “For twenty dollars, the cat is all yours.”
As the woman casually takes the twenty out of her purse and hands it over, she says, “I notice my new cat seems to like that old saucer. How about I give you an extra dollar for it?”
“Oh, no, Ma’am!” the old lady replied. “That’s a lucky saucer; I’ve sold six cats off it so far.”
And the onthophagus impala beetle can do 99 pushups while drinking a Pepsi.
Take care, may stupid potato peeler sharpener and polisher Chuck “Hey, At Least I Don’t Sneak Around At Night Like That Roomba Dude” Smithord be with you, and gesundheit.
An Onthophagus Taurus Bettle is drinking in a bar. A Dung Beetle walks up to him, seeing an empty seat at the bar. The Dung Bettle asks Onthophagus Taurus, is this stool taken?
(っ °Д °;)っ
I heard a knock on my office door. I opened it and a six foot tall beetle smacked me in the face, and ran away. I asked my secretary, “What the hell was that?”
She said, “There is a nasty bug going around.”
o(￣┰￣*)
Me: Stomping on beetle
Dad: What are you doing over there?
Me: Trying to kill this beetle.
Dad: Which Beatle? John Lennon? Ringo Starr? Paul McCartney? George Harrison?
Me: Haha no. stomping vigorously It’s the stupid kind that doesn’t DIE!
There is some math to the principle that the smaller the animal, the higher the weight it can move in proportion to its body size:
Assuming a small muscle has the same shape as a large muscle, the mass is in proportion to the cube (3rd power) of its length. But, its strength is in proportion to the cross sectional area, which is in proportion to the square (2nd power) of its length.
In Saskatchewan Canada a young man was born without arms ( thalidomide ) and by the time he was a teenager he could write with his toes, play the drums, play a trombone, and even had a drivers licence and a car he could steer and control with his feet. He’s a senior now. Check him out … his name is Alvin Law.
eromlig almost 3 years ago
Greetings, fellow comics fans! The O.F.W.T.J. (Old Men Who Tell Jokes) Society is growing big time; as an early member, I love seeing all the funny, clean (reasonably) humor we’re getting. I’m sure our founder, Stevesilver48, agrees. I’d say it humbles me, but I’m not sure what that word means. I don’t have a humble bone in my body. I do have a couple of humerus ones, though.
But wait – there’s more:
A woman is shopping in an antique parlor when she sees a cat drinking out of a porcelain dish. Looking closer, she realizes the dish is of an old and quite valuable manufacture. Thinking she might get a real bargain if she can just be subtle enough, she asks the elderly shopkeeper if she could buy the cat.
“Certainly, Ma’am,” the proprietor replies. “For twenty dollars, the cat is all yours.”
As the woman casually takes the twenty out of her purse and hands it over, she says, “I notice my new cat seems to like that old saucer. How about I give you an extra dollar for it?”
“Oh, no, Ma’am!” the old lady replied. “That’s a lucky saucer; I’ve sold six cats off it so far.”
Bilan almost 3 years ago
The brothers didn’t climb the 100 steps. Only one of them did.
therese_callahan2002 almost 3 years ago
I met a woman with no hands, and a man with just one arm.
Charlie Fogwhistle almost 3 years ago
That super beetle is a bug, right? I mean in the loose, young child sort of way?
A boy asks his father, “Dad, are bugs good to eat?”
“That’s disgusting. Don’t talk about things like that over dinner,” the dad replies.
After dinner the father asks, “Now, son, what did you want to ask me?”
“Oh, nothing,” the boy says. “There was a bug in your soup, but now it’s gone.”
Until next time.
Huckleberry Hiroshima almost 3 years ago
And the onthophagus impala beetle can do 99 pushups while drinking a Pepsi.
Take care, may stupid potato peeler sharpener and polisher Chuck “Hey, At Least I Don’t Sneak Around At Night Like That Roomba Dude” Smithord be with you, and gesundheit.
WCraft Premium Member almost 3 years ago
Forget Spider-Man; I want to be Onthophagus-Man!
joeatwork212 almost 3 years ago
HONK HONK!!! Let’s Go Truckers!!!
JDP_Huntington Beach almost 3 years ago
An Onthophagus Taurus Bettle is drinking in a bar. A Dung Beetle walks up to him, seeing an empty seat at the bar. The Dung Bettle asks Onthophagus Taurus, is this stool taken?
(っ °Д °;)っ
I heard a knock on my office door. I opened it and a six foot tall beetle smacked me in the face, and ran away. I asked my secretary, “What the hell was that?”
She said, “There is a nasty bug going around.”
o(￣┰￣*)
Me: Stomping on beetle
Dad: What are you doing over there?
Me: Trying to kill this beetle.
Dad: Which Beatle? John Lennon? Ringo Starr? Paul McCartney? George Harrison?
Me: Haha no. stomping vigorously It’s the stupid kind that doesn’t DIE!
Dad: …Well we know it isn’t Lennon.
J. R. M. almost 3 years ago
I’ve heard of flat-head screwdrivers, but dudes…!
ChucklinChuck almost 3 years ago
How is a beetle pulling similar to a human lifting?
Jogger2 almost 3 years ago
There is some math to the principle that the smaller the animal, the higher the weight it can move in proportion to its body size:
Assuming a small muscle has the same shape as a large muscle, the mass is in proportion to the cube (3rd power) of its length. But, its strength is in proportion to the cross sectional area, which is in proportion to the square (2nd power) of its length.
paranormal almost 3 years ago
Ripley’s, you’re getting more unbelievable…
dpatrickryan Premium Member almost 3 years ago
“Pull” and “lift” aren’t the same thing, and there are actually humans out there who can pull tractor-trailers.
JoshHere almost 3 years ago
Super-powers are fantasies on our world, but reality on the insect world
mindjob almost 3 years ago
If Adriana could shuffle cards she’d be a black jack dealer
markhughw almost 3 years ago
Pulling is not lifting.
rsam almost 3 years ago
In Saskatchewan Canada a young man was born without arms ( thalidomide ) and by the time he was a teenager he could write with his toes, play the drums, play a trombone, and even had a drivers licence and a car he could steer and control with his feet. He’s a senior now. Check him out … his name is Alvin Law.
Running Buffalo Premium Member almost 3 years ago
Not sure if I would want to play footsie with Adriana …
poppacapsmokeblower almost 3 years ago
I’m old, please use a larger font. I read that as 1.142 not 1,142.
poimen almost 3 years ago
They do know there’s a difference between carrying a load and pulling one right.