Close to Home by John McPherson for April 23, 2024

that’s one way to have a wing man, more like a wing puppet though…

…and shockingly talented at ventriloquy.

Women find him handy.

Which explains the running total of zero dates lined up.

A little song, a little dance, a little seltzer in your pants will work wonders on the dating scene

Every time Alan gave his hand to a woman, they gave him the finger.

I like the sort of close up and clear view of Bleeb. You can get a good look at him and his features for a change. Usually he’s blending in with something in the background.

In this order, Allen was:

1. Rejected

2. Ejected

3. Dejected

… all as expected!

There is always someone it will work on. Might take some time though.

The girl looks startled, and the bartender looks disgruntled.

He couldn’t get Cyrano de Bergerac.

Allen is also wanted in three states for indecent exposure, kidnapping and forceable entry. But don’t let that that hold you back. Hey, we all make mistakes, right?

It’s already been invented, it’s called online dating.

Not creepy at all.

I don’t say it.. I’ll only get in trouble.

That’s just…sad…

Bleeb has seen this act before. :)

He’s so bad at ventriloquism he has to duck his head. HA!

and “how’d you like to meet my little friend?”…(said in a very raspy voice)

For Mr. Chuckles, it’s Allan a day’s work.

What woman doesn’t like a disembodied head? Say hello to my little friend.

“Uh, good with his hands.”

If he ever does have a date, it’ll be by proxy.

Yet the women always preferred Mr. Chuckles, since he gave good head.

Split personality will get you nowhere

i did that once, it was all going well … then she ran off with the puppet!!!