I was building a real estate website for my client who has several businesses in Delaware, USA, Estonia, and Spain, but she is originally from Spain.
She refuses to acknowledge and pay the second bill of the project. Out of my good graces, I have disregarded it for one billing cycle, but when it comes to the third time that she refuses to pay, I put the website into maintenance mode.
Client: “Again, my site locked?! I’m going to tell everybody what are you doing!”
Me: “Your website is done, and you did not give any response for a week. You are way past the stage of professionalism.”
Client: “NOTHING WAS DONE, YOU PUT A TEMPLATE THERE AND YOU DID NOTHING!”
In the meantime, it was her choice to get the cheaper package, despite the warnings I made several times. She threatens to sue me.
Me: “I know who I’m dealing with. You’re someone who can’t even keep books in her company in the USA, and couldn’t get her company straight if I didn’t help her about Estonia as well.”
For her company in Estonia, I got her to meet with a proper person who can deal with tax complexities, out of my good graces as well.
Client: “Keep going, everything you’re saying is going to make my lawyers very happy.”
In the meantime, I was busy filing a complaint to the IRS about her company in Delaware and letting my friends in Estonia know the story so far. They cut her loose from their services the next year.
Again, thanks to a friend of mine, the relevant people went after her company in Spain as well. A conglomerate gone, just like that.
He’s Single?! We’re Shocked! Shocked, We Tell You!
My coworker was recently put on an official warning for harassing women in the office. He’d ask them out over and over again, and when told no, he would demand reasons and then get verbally nasty.
We came in today to find him gone, his account deleted, his desk cleared, and a very angry boss.
It appears that said coworker went to Human Resources to file an official complaint of discrimination: “Women won’t date me, and I’m in emotional distress as a result; therefore, this warning is retaliation and illegal.” When told that isn’t how anything works, he got very angry with the HR representative and proceeded to throw things at her.
Instant dismissal for gross misconduct. Well done, ex-coworker, for coming up with the most bizarre complaint we’ve ever heard of!
I’m admiring the hippo exhibit when I overhear a guest talking to one of the employees.
Customer: “My kids saw this baby hippo online and it was so cute.”
Employee: “The one in Thailand? Yes, it’s very popular.”
Customer: “My kids want to pet a baby hippo.”
Employee: “Well the one in Thailand is a pygmy hippo, so they’re very small.”
Customer: “You have a baby hippo.”
Employee: “Ma’am, you’re not seriously asking if your children can pet our baby hippo? Ours are regular African hippos. They’re very large and very protective of their young.”
Customer: “I pay an expensive monthly subscription to be members of this place, so I expect better service!”
Employee: “Let me put it this way. If you walk in there and pet the baby hippo, you’ll be cancelling your subscription to life.”
I was racing between things one day and stopped at [Fast Food Place] on my way to my next stop, hitting the drive-thru so I could eat on the way.
Me: “Can I please have a medium [combo]?”
Employee: “Do you want to make that a large?”
Me: “No, thanks.”
When I got to the window to pay, the price seemed high, which I thought was odd, but maybe I had just done the mental math on the taxes wrong or misremembered the price of the item. And then, the cashier didn’t hand me a receipt. Weird as well, but whatever.
When I got to the window to receive my food, it all clicked as they handed me a large. I politely declined as I really had zero interest in paying two dollars for a few more fries and soda. At that point, the manager appeared.
Manager: “We don’t do refunds here.”
That was when I realized what was going on. Having worked fast food before, I gathered that they were probably doing some sort of “upcharge” competition — ring up the most larges and you get a reward.
I was slightly flabbergasted, but the manager repeated that nope, there was no possibility of a refund.
Me: Smiling politely “That’s okay. I’ll call my bank on speaker to do a chargeback. I’ll need you to talk to them. Since it’s on speaker, you can just tell them you can’t do refunds.”
And then, I proceeded to sit at the window, calling my bank, during lunch hour at a very busy drive-thru.
It turned out they can do refunds, and they can do them so fast I didn’t even make it through the phone tree.
When I worked at a children’s museum gift shop, it was not uncommon for kids to grab toys and run out of the store without paying for them, but it was no big deal since the parents would always make them bring it back. This, however, was another story.
A mom and young child came into the store toward the end of the day. She came straight up to the counter, pulled a stuffed animal out of her purse, and handed it to me.
Mom: “Hi, sorry, I’m just returning this.”
Me: “I see. Do you still have your receipt?”
Mom: “Oh no, I didn’t buy it. My son wouldn’t leave the store without it when we got here, so we took it and let him play with it a bit around the museum. I finally got it back into my purse when he was distracted, and I think he’s forgotten about it now. So, I’m just giving it back. Bye!”
Fortunately, it was still clean and had the tags on it, but you can’t just steal things because you won’t tell your kid no!
I was delivering during a nasty storm right after Christmas. I was walking up to the house when I slipped and shattered my ankle and tibia.
While I was lying on the pavement getting strapped to the stretcher, the customer I had been delivering to called into my store to complain that the ambulance – that was taking care of me – was blocking her in. And that I should be fired for my incompetence.
That conversation was relayed to me after I returned to work. I had been out of work for over six months. Foot injuries take a lot of time to heal.
Second delivery of my first day back I get an address that looks familiar. Yep, it’s complainer lady’s house. I go up to the door with a giant smile on my face.
Customer: “Hello.”
Me: “Hello, ma’am. It’s a pleasure to finally put a face to the name.”
Customer: Questioning look.
Me: “Well, ma’am. The last time I was here, I slipped and shattered my leg. And someone made a complaint that my injury was inconveniencing them.
Customer: Dawning realization.
Me: “Well, I just got back to work after being bedridden for the last couple of months. I hope no one else has to suffer like I did. Anyway, here’s your pizza and your receipt. Could you please fill out the tip, total and sign, please.”
The customer silently filled out the receipt ($7 tip, for a $15 order) and just ashamedly took the food and then whispers:
Customer: “I am so sorry.”
Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am? You are sorry for what?”
And then the customer just shut the door. I think the shame of having to face her complaint just shut her brain down.
The managers of the bookstore I work at recently set up colored displays at the front of our bookstore. Perhaps you know the ones: one copy of each the books we have whose cover is largely of a single color, accompanied by a sign reading “I don’t know the title, but the cover was blue”. (Yes, only one copy; the rest are on the shelves by genre and name or series name, for people with half a brain to find them.)
The first day this was set up, a customer demanded a manager and let me witness this exchange.
Customer: “I find this—” beckoning at the displays “—very rude!”
Manager: “And may I ask why you think it is rude to call out people who expect bookstore employees to know what book they’re referring to based on a single physical aspect of the book? Especially when that aspect should have NOTHING to do with the reason anyone would be buying the book? And often changes between prints of the same book, at that?”
There was silence between them for a long moment, and then the customer stormed off.
Me: “That sounded very rehearsed.”
Manager: “It was 100% rehearsed. Dumba**es always take issue with someone pointing out their stupidity and their unrealistic expectations.”
Those Emails Arrived Precisely When He Meant Them To
I work in IT. I’m above entry level but not by much. I’m currently working under a guy nicknamed “Tech Gandalf”. This is partially because he’s been around forever and knows all the weird little quirks of the systems, partially because he seems to be able to pull magic fixes out of nowhere, and partially because he has a long white beard and looks a bit like Gandalf.
Our current task is decommissioning this little niche tool that’s been made redundant because its use case has been rolled into a different tool. The problem is that some reports still reference the old tool, and we need to notify the owners of those reports to update them to point to the new system instead. The only problem is that those reports reference other reports, which reference other tools, which reference other systems, etc., so it’s hard to actually draw a line from the redundant system to the final reports.
Me: “It’s going to take weeks to sort through all these references and find out what is actually using [Old System].”
Tech Gandalf: “I have a better idea.”
He then just grabs the mouse, makes a few clicks, and turns the old system off.
Tech Gandalf: “Okay, let’s go to lunch.”
Me: “But that definitely just broke some reports. How are we going to know which ones we need to fix?”
Tech Gandalf: “When we get back from lunch, you are going to have probably about a dozen emails from people saying their reports are broken. Those are the ones we need to fix.”
Sure enough, when we came back I had emails about fourteen reports that had broken. I updated their references, and the whole thing was over in a couple of hours. It would have taken days to check all the reports one by one.
Her “give a $hit meter” is giving a low reading. I once told my boss about some small matter and he said “that’s just too trivial for me to give a $hit about”
Yakety Sax 1 day ago
That’s Some Hard Cheese
Customer: “You got any more of that f***y cheese bread?”
Employee #1: “Any more… cheese bread?”
Customer: “No no, the f***y cheese bread.”
Employee #2: “The focaccia’s right here, sir.”
After he leaves:
Employee #1: “Shouldn’t we tell him how it’s really pronounced?”
Employee #2: “I have. Twice.”
Yakety Sax 1 day ago
Pay Your Bill, Or Pay Everything
I was building a real estate website for my client who has several businesses in Delaware, USA, Estonia, and Spain, but she is originally from Spain.
She refuses to acknowledge and pay the second bill of the project. Out of my good graces, I have disregarded it for one billing cycle, but when it comes to the third time that she refuses to pay, I put the website into maintenance mode.
Client: “Again, my site locked?! I’m going to tell everybody what are you doing!”
Me: “Your website is done, and you did not give any response for a week. You are way past the stage of professionalism.”
Client: “NOTHING WAS DONE, YOU PUT A TEMPLATE THERE AND YOU DID NOTHING!”
In the meantime, it was her choice to get the cheaper package, despite the warnings I made several times. She threatens to sue me.
Me: “I know who I’m dealing with. You’re someone who can’t even keep books in her company in the USA, and couldn’t get her company straight if I didn’t help her about Estonia as well.”
For her company in Estonia, I got her to meet with a proper person who can deal with tax complexities, out of my good graces as well.
Client: “Keep going, everything you’re saying is going to make my lawyers very happy.”
In the meantime, I was busy filing a complaint to the IRS about her company in Delaware and letting my friends in Estonia know the story so far. They cut her loose from their services the next year.
Again, thanks to a friend of mine, the relevant people went after her company in Spain as well. A conglomerate gone, just like that.
Yakety Sax 1 day ago
He’s Single?! We’re Shocked! Shocked, We Tell You!
My coworker was recently put on an official warning for harassing women in the office. He’d ask them out over and over again, and when told no, he would demand reasons and then get verbally nasty.
We came in today to find him gone, his account deleted, his desk cleared, and a very angry boss.
It appears that said coworker went to Human Resources to file an official complaint of discrimination: “Women won’t date me, and I’m in emotional distress as a result; therefore, this warning is retaliation and illegal.” When told that isn’t how anything works, he got very angry with the HR representative and proceeded to throw things at her.
Instant dismissal for gross misconduct. Well done, ex-coworker, for coming up with the most bizarre complaint we’ve ever heard of!
Yakety Sax 1 day ago
The Moo-Deng Effect
I’m admiring the hippo exhibit when I overhear a guest talking to one of the employees.
Customer: “My kids saw this baby hippo online and it was so cute.”
Employee: “The one in Thailand? Yes, it’s very popular.”
Customer: “My kids want to pet a baby hippo.”
Employee: “Well the one in Thailand is a pygmy hippo, so they’re very small.”
Customer: “You have a baby hippo.”
Employee: “Ma’am, you’re not seriously asking if your children can pet our baby hippo? Ours are regular African hippos. They’re very large and very protective of their young.”
Customer: “I pay an expensive monthly subscription to be members of this place, so I expect better service!”
Employee: “Let me put it this way. If you walk in there and pet the baby hippo, you’ll be cancelling your subscription to life.”
Yakety Sax 1 day ago
A Small Medium-Large Scam
I was racing between things one day and stopped at [Fast Food Place] on my way to my next stop, hitting the drive-thru so I could eat on the way.
Me: “Can I please have a medium [combo]?”
Employee: “Do you want to make that a large?”
Me: “No, thanks.”
When I got to the window to pay, the price seemed high, which I thought was odd, but maybe I had just done the mental math on the taxes wrong or misremembered the price of the item. And then, the cashier didn’t hand me a receipt. Weird as well, but whatever.
When I got to the window to receive my food, it all clicked as they handed me a large. I politely declined as I really had zero interest in paying two dollars for a few more fries and soda. At that point, the manager appeared.
Manager: “We don’t do refunds here.”
That was when I realized what was going on. Having worked fast food before, I gathered that they were probably doing some sort of “upcharge” competition — ring up the most larges and you get a reward.
I was slightly flabbergasted, but the manager repeated that nope, there was no possibility of a refund.
Me: Smiling politely “That’s okay. I’ll call my bank on speaker to do a chargeback. I’ll need you to talk to them. Since it’s on speaker, you can just tell them you can’t do refunds.”
And then, I proceeded to sit at the window, calling my bank, during lunch hour at a very busy drive-thru.
It turned out they can do refunds, and they can do them so fast I didn’t even make it through the phone tree.
And yes, I did file a complaint with corporate.
Yakety Sax 1 day ago
Steal Yourself For Some Crazy “Parenting”
When I worked at a children’s museum gift shop, it was not uncommon for kids to grab toys and run out of the store without paying for them, but it was no big deal since the parents would always make them bring it back. This, however, was another story.
A mom and young child came into the store toward the end of the day. She came straight up to the counter, pulled a stuffed animal out of her purse, and handed it to me.
Mom: “Hi, sorry, I’m just returning this.”
Me: “I see. Do you still have your receipt?”
Mom: “Oh no, I didn’t buy it. My son wouldn’t leave the store without it when we got here, so we took it and let him play with it a bit around the museum. I finally got it back into my purse when he was distracted, and I think he’s forgotten about it now. So, I’m just giving it back. Bye!”
Fortunately, it was still clean and had the tags on it, but you can’t just steal things because you won’t tell your kid no!
seanfear 1 day ago
the latter.
Yakety Sax 1 day ago
Some Complaints Can Cut Down To The Bone
I was delivering during a nasty storm right after Christmas. I was walking up to the house when I slipped and shattered my ankle and tibia.
While I was lying on the pavement getting strapped to the stretcher, the customer I had been delivering to called into my store to complain that the ambulance – that was taking care of me – was blocking her in. And that I should be fired for my incompetence.
That conversation was relayed to me after I returned to work. I had been out of work for over six months. Foot injuries take a lot of time to heal.
Second delivery of my first day back I get an address that looks familiar. Yep, it’s complainer lady’s house. I go up to the door with a giant smile on my face.
Customer: “Hello.”
Me: “Hello, ma’am. It’s a pleasure to finally put a face to the name.”
Customer: Questioning look.
Me: “Well, ma’am. The last time I was here, I slipped and shattered my leg. And someone made a complaint that my injury was inconveniencing them.
Customer: Dawning realization.
Me: “Well, I just got back to work after being bedridden for the last couple of months. I hope no one else has to suffer like I did. Anyway, here’s your pizza and your receipt. Could you please fill out the tip, total and sign, please.”
The customer silently filled out the receipt ($7 tip, for a $15 order) and just ashamedly took the food and then whispers:
Customer: “I am so sorry.”
Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am? You are sorry for what?”
And then the customer just shut the door. I think the shame of having to face her complaint just shut her brain down.
Yakety Sax 1 day ago
It’s Not Like It Came Out Of The Blue
The managers of the bookstore I work at recently set up colored displays at the front of our bookstore. Perhaps you know the ones: one copy of each the books we have whose cover is largely of a single color, accompanied by a sign reading “I don’t know the title, but the cover was blue”. (Yes, only one copy; the rest are on the shelves by genre and name or series name, for people with half a brain to find them.)
The first day this was set up, a customer demanded a manager and let me witness this exchange.
Customer: “I find this—” beckoning at the displays “—very rude!”
Manager: “And may I ask why you think it is rude to call out people who expect bookstore employees to know what book they’re referring to based on a single physical aspect of the book? Especially when that aspect should have NOTHING to do with the reason anyone would be buying the book? And often changes between prints of the same book, at that?”
There was silence between them for a long moment, and then the customer stormed off.
Me: “That sounded very rehearsed.”
Manager: “It was 100% rehearsed. Dumba**es always take issue with someone pointing out their stupidity and their unrealistic expectations.”
Yakety Sax 1 day ago
Those Emails Arrived Precisely When He Meant Them To
I work in IT. I’m above entry level but not by much. I’m currently working under a guy nicknamed “Tech Gandalf”. This is partially because he’s been around forever and knows all the weird little quirks of the systems, partially because he seems to be able to pull magic fixes out of nowhere, and partially because he has a long white beard and looks a bit like Gandalf.
Our current task is decommissioning this little niche tool that’s been made redundant because its use case has been rolled into a different tool. The problem is that some reports still reference the old tool, and we need to notify the owners of those reports to update them to point to the new system instead. The only problem is that those reports reference other reports, which reference other tools, which reference other systems, etc., so it’s hard to actually draw a line from the redundant system to the final reports.
Me: “It’s going to take weeks to sort through all these references and find out what is actually using [Old System].”
Tech Gandalf: “I have a better idea.”
He then just grabs the mouse, makes a few clicks, and turns the old system off.
Tech Gandalf: “Okay, let’s go to lunch.”
Me: “But that definitely just broke some reports. How are we going to know which ones we need to fix?”
Tech Gandalf: “When we get back from lunch, you are going to have probably about a dozen emails from people saying their reports are broken. Those are the ones we need to fix.”
Sure enough, when we came back I had emails about fourteen reports that had broken. I updated their references, and the whole thing was over in a couple of hours. It would have taken days to check all the reports one by one.
TStyle78 1 day ago
Probably both.
FreyjaRN Premium Member 1 day ago
They aren’t mutually exclusive.
The Reader Premium Member 1 day ago
Whatever!
Calvinist1966 1 day ago
So IS life raising its standards to pass Aunty Acid’s acid test or ARE Aunty Acid’s standards slipping as she becomes more of a realist?
silberdistel 1 day ago
I am not sure what that means, Aunty.
dbrucepm 1 day ago
wasting less time worrying about stuff I can’t control or doesn’t really matter in the long run
[Traveler] Premium Member 1 day ago
Her “give a $hit meter” is giving a low reading. I once told my boss about some small matter and he said “that’s just too trivial for me to give a $hit about”
StoicLion1973 1 day ago
The latter.
assrdood 1 day ago
Once one reaches a certain age, nothing much impresses you!
Daltongang Premium Member 1 day ago
With all the crap you have collected Aunty, I’m sure it is getting better when you off load some of it.
rockyridge1977 1 day ago
…….maybe you deleted some of those files!!!!
kaycstamper 1 day ago
Probablly the latter.
cuzinron47 1 day ago
It helps if you hide away in your basement all day.
Smeagol 1 day ago
That last part in black, yup.
MemaJean 1 day ago
Not giving a carp is probably the best way of looking at things.
pheets about 23 hours ago
A little of both.