Daddy's Home by Tony Rubino and Gary Markstein for April 11, 2016

No, not real sugar nor artificial sweetener, you nitwit. “Sugar” as in lo-… oh, forget it.

I guess I’ll start it today.@TonyWhat’s your secret?.Sorry Tony, can’t tell you. It’s a secret.

my secret is on a need to know basis, and you have no need to know

What’s my secret? That I’m strong enough for a man but made for a woman.

@Tony “What’s your secret?”My secret is that I don’t tell people my secret.

If I told you, not only would I have to kill you, I’d have to scatter the remains over 50 states, 10 provinces, and 3 territories.

My secret is everything that tastes good has pepper in it and little or no salt.

@TonyWhat’s your secret?.I’d tell you, but there’d be several black SUV’s at my house and yours.So mum’s the word.

11 different herbs and spices.

2 tablespoons paprika 1 tablespoon onion salt 1 teaspoon celery salt 1 teaspoon rubbed sage 1 teaspoon garlic powder 1 teaspoon ground allspice 1 teaspoon ground oregano 1 teaspoon chili powder 1 teaspoon black pepper 1 teaspoon basil leaves, crushed 1 teaspoon marjoram leaves, crushed finely

What is broken as soon as it’s spoken?

@Tony“What’s your secret?”

I’m really Garry Moore…