Diamond Lil by Brett Koth for November 28, 2024

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    Yakety Sax  3 days ago

    A Poor Cook Blames Their Turkey

    This story was passed on to me from my grandma who worked in the same grocery store for most of her life. She worked at the service counter most of the time, so people with returns went to her.

    One day, a lady came in with a cart with a big bundle of plastic bags, which she dumped on the service counter.

    Customer: “I need a refund!”

    My grandma opened the bag, and lo, inside was an entire turkey in a tin roasting pan, stuffed with stuffing, and clearly partially cooked.

    Grandma: Shocked “There’s no way to return a turkey in this state.”

    Customer: “Well, it didn’t cook all the way! There’s something wrong with it! You need to take it back!”

    Grandma: “You have to put it back in the oven for longer!”

    It apparently took several more minutes of refusing the return before the customer took her turkey back and left.

    The question that still remains: did the woman ever learn how cooking works? Or did she toss the turkey and try again with a “better” one?

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    Aimless Melissa   3 days ago

    Turkey isn’t worth the effort you have to put into cooking it. Just buy it already cooked from your local grocer. Turkeys are difficult to cook properly. Undercooked poultry is dangerous to eat, too.

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    MuddyUSA  Premium Member 3 days ago

    Hilarious!!!

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    ladykat  3 days ago

    If your turkey is talking to you, it’s definitely not cookes enough.

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    Saddenedby Premium Member 3 days ago

    What’s making that noise?

    Is it the dryer?

    Nah, it’s the turkey trying to get out!!!!

    Anybody seen Harold lately?

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    Howard'sMyHero  3 days ago

    Read the Sauna Clause … it’s all there …!

    ( I feel like a turkey today…sorry?…nope… have a good one! )

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    olds_cool63  2 days ago

    Cooking a LIVE turkey, Lil? “Genius”.

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    grenjello  2 days ago

    You mean someone is actually letting her cook the turkey?

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