Doonesbury by Garry Trudeau for October 16, 1977

Transcript:

Zonker: It's not marijuana, Calvin! I swear it! It's a perfectly harmless blend of 24 herbs and spices found only in nature! Man: Uh-huh. B.D: Listen, everyone, there will be no discussion of this play! It is fourth down and twenty-seven! We will punt! Kirby: But, B.D! You haven't heard Frank's play yet! B.D: Kirby, this team is not a democracy! Now, I said we're going to punt, and... Zonker: Frank's got a new play, Kirby? Kirby: He sure does, Zonker! Go ahead, Frank, tell him about your great new play! Man: Well, okay! See, basically, it's just a simple free pattern. B.D. rolls uot, pivots, hits me long, right on the ol' numerals! Kirby: But, Frank's tackled immediately! The ball squirts away! His dream of saving the game is shattered! Man: But then Kirby scoops it up! He almost makes it to the five when he, too, is clobbered! Loose ball again! Kirby: It rolls into the end zone! Frank, of all people, pounces on it! Score! Man: The stadium explodes! Pure bedlam reigns! Kirby: Frank's life is changed! He finds new confidence, gets a date with his Spanish teaching assistant, and goes on to a glamorous career in radio! Like it? Zonker: Gee, I dunno... don't you think they'd sort of be expecting something like that? Man: Who cares? Kirby: Yeah. It's nearly impossible to defend against!