Doonesbury by Garry Trudeau for July 19, 2012

Jeff, please think about what you’re saying! GT really dropped the ball on this one.

Jeff’s a sore loser.

Time for Jeff to put a sock in it…

No time for the future if you’re living in the past

As PG Wodehouse said about one of his characters who had a “system to break the bank”, casino owners whooped with delight and rolled out the red carpet when they saw him coming.

Trudeau’s showing people winning at casinos is an objectionable plug for the gambling industry. In real life, it’s pretty much Losers Only.

If only Drew would simply walk by. Jeff would instantly forget all about his fantasy bride.

Kinda repulsive. We knew Zipper had a crush on Alex, but… Jeff? Yucko-grosso.

Jeff, if you’re gonna harvest sour grapes, at least make a decent wine out of them. There’s just some things you’ll never have, and that’s that.

With each passing strip in this storyline, my opinion of Alex’s taste in men goes up.

Hey Jeff, come to Vegas. We just love guy’s with systems!

Jeff just needs to move over to the Luann strip and meet Tiffany. They’re made for each other.

Oh, my, yes you do…are your civic stalwarts still roughing them up in the back room?

Play without a system and you lose without a system. Play with a system and you lose with a system.

On Slate’s Doonesbury site, in the comments it is acknowledged that Trudeau made a mistake and mixed up the characters for this storyline. He always intended for Zipper, and not Jeff, to have a crush on Alex.

Where are they going with this? He is Alex’s uncle.

Here is the note from the Doonesbury site:

Whoa. Did Jeff forget that Alex is his niece? Or just GBT?— Allie, Gettysburg, PA

Editor’s Note: Neither. But GBT inadvertently mixed up the two boys during the course of the week. While Jeff is threatened by Leo’s warrior bone fides, it’s Zipper who’s had the crush on Alex. Apologies to the many horrified, genealogically astute readers who noticed.

Not to be too ‘practical’ here but aren’t they blood relations in that Jeff is Joanie’s Son, and Alex is her Grand-Daughter?

Am I the only one going “Oooh, ick!”

Yesterday Susan Sunshine said, “(That is, unless you’re the only “Aunt Bill” I’ve ever heard of… but I make no assumptions on these here internets.). . ."Well, I had an Aunt Bill. She married my father’s brother. She had some other name, like Wilhemina, but they called her “Bill.”She was a big, tall lady and had four kids with my uncle. Later they divorced, and she and a new husband lived next door to my uncle, who was bent double with rheumatoid arthritis. The only time I met them all, Aunt Bill’s new husband carried my uncle (who was rather small) up our front steps.

The Difference between Las Vegas and Wall Street – The Story of the Lollapalooza:`Once in the Old West a Traveler was staying overnight in an inn, which was next door to the local saloon. Venturing into the saloon, the Traveler was invited by the friendly locals to participate in their poker game. Playing for awhile the Traveler was dealt three-of-a-kind and bet accordingly. The guy across the table laid down his cards, showed a hand of 2, 3, 5, 7, and 8 of different suites, and started to rake in the pot. Objecting, the Traveler’s attention was directed to a sign on the wall he had not noticed before. The sign read: “Local rule: The 2, 3, 5, 7, and 8 of differencing suites is a Lollapalooza. A Lollapalooza beats every other hand.”’Continuing to play (!), the Traveler himself soon received a “Lollapalooza” and bet accordingly on a sure winner. Another guy at the table showed a pair of Kings and started to rake in the pot. Objecting that he had a “Lollapalooza,” the Traveler’s attention was directed to another sign he had not previously noticed: “Only one Lollapalooza allowed per night.”`The point: You are much more likely to encounter the “Lollapalooza” in your broker’s office than in a casino.

Shouldn’t have apologized. It happens in real life. In fact, people tend to be attracted to other people who look like them. I had a high school friend who married his first cousin. They had two great children, with no genetically related problems.

Having said that, first generation in-breeders tend to have the highest probability of a genetic glitch, including reduced fertility for their offspring. For any Jeff-Alex progeny this would be a good thing.

OK, so let’s switch the dialog boxes: Zipper, what have you ever done to be with her? Zip..‘The House will always win in the long run. Gambling is a sucker’s game.’Agreed, whether it ’s Vegas or Wall Street, the house always wins, in any run.

Hey, if nobody EVER walked out of a casino with more money than they walked in with, people would stop going. If you win a little, leave the table before you lose big.

Besides, in casino poker you’re playing against other gamblers and not the house, right? The casino takes a cut of every pot, but every hand has a winner. You’ve just gotta be a better poker player than the other people at the table. A friend of mine is a pretty good poker player; not good enough to turn pro, but she goes to Vegas a couple of times a year, and usually can make the trip pay for itself, sometimes a bit better. But even if she loses, she enjoys the experience.

The only time I’ve ever PERSONALLY been in a casino, I fell immediately into the Monte Carlo Fallacy; I went to a roulette wheel that I saw had landed “Red” three straight times, and lost my gambling budget (a whole $200) when the ball landed red four more times…

Actually, the guy who invented card counting in Blackjack had a pretty good system, and the casinos still send card counters packing. Occasionally, there is a system that works.

Alex will know how to handle Jeff and whoever else. Have a little confidence in her.

In her wildest dream Alex would never have settled for a guy who can’t get his head out if his own imagination.

If you go to a casino with the idea of having some fun for x amount of time with x amount of dollars, then whether you make some or spend some, as long as you had a good time, you’re ahead of the game.If you go, with the expressed idea of making a killing, then you’re delusional.

How many today go into marriage with the same attitude as entering a casino? Going in expecting to lose is self-perpetuating in human relationships. Alex and Leo see it as less a gamble. As Captain and Tenille said: “Love will keep us together”.

Everybody has a system. That’s what they keep building bigger and bigger casinos on.

I love the counterpoint in this storyline. Alex and Toggle are lost in their honeymoon, enjoying each other’s company regardless of where they are. Meanwhile, the loser twins are nursing their fantasy world at Jeff’s McMegaMansion.

“Buying car insurance is like betting the insurance company that you will get in an accident, the company is betting you won’t and you hope they win.”

Red Skelton in 60’s or 70’s

Okay, does anyone else wish that GT had drawn “photos” of Alex and Leo’s trip? I can just imagine them standing in front of the Las Vegas sign.

Ooohhh send ALeoX to Meteor Crater, awesome place.

“Any who do walk out with a bundle is banned and they would alert all the other casinos to keep them out. Such is how “free” enterprise works.”

Not always. The occasional Big Winner is good advertising. Hell, they promote someone who walks in with $500 and walks out with $500,000, as “It can happen to YOU.” And the laws of probability dictate that it will happen sometimes. But by the time he gets there they’ll have been keeping an eye on him for some time, do see if he’s doing anything hinky, or even gives the appearance of doing something hinky.

The House knows the odds better than most gamblers, and of course they capitalize on it. That’s their business model. But if someone knows the odds better than the House, and THEY capitalize on it, the business model cannot be sustained. And nobody has a constitutional RIGHT to gamble at a casino.

But whatisname’s mother is Alex’s grandma! What the hell?