Doonesbury by Garry Trudeau for October 25, 2012
Transcript:
Jeff: Yeah? Man: Moving day, man. Jeff: What? Are you kidding me? Man: Where'd you like us to pile your furniture? Jeff: I don't believe this-- evicted on my own birthday! Man: Sorry, man-- just doing my job. Jeff: Could you give me a moment alone with my mansion? Man: If I were taking your car, sure. But I'm not.
BE THIS GUY about 12 years ago
Jeff has a lot of birthdays.
Linguist about 12 years ago
I sure hope Jeff’s wasn’t the same day as mine. I at least could say that Johnny Carson and I shared the the same birthday and number of ex-wives. He just was much more talented and had more money !
Blood-Poisoning Vermin about 12 years ago
“…moment alone with my mansion.”
He just used that same line on Monday. I’m all for recycling to make the world a better planet, but somehow I feel cheated.
DylanThomas3.14159 about 12 years ago
Did no good to call Dad. Call Zipper? Text Zipper?
Rational Anarchist about 12 years ago
He’s a male version of Kim Kardashian, no talent, no skills, just an inflated view of himself and belief in his imaginary world. AKA Romneyism
DylanThomas3.14159 about 12 years ago
Jeff wrote a “graphic novel” manuscript about his daydreams as Red Rascal and his horse Petraeus in Afghanistan, drawing on his CIA experiences there. He presented it to Becca Bickle at Random House. She recognized that it would sell,at least to readers with certain “tastes”. She used her considerable influence as a top book editor at Random House to convince their book publishing committee to accept it. Since the book was already complete when he made his pitch to her, he was not given an advance. But Becca was right, and it did sell, giving Jeff perhaps 20% of gross sales price, enough for him to make a down payment on a mansion and another on a new Porsche. However, sales slacked off prematurely. (If Jeff had listened to Becca, she would have advised him to keep living in his parents basement till he had amassed enough money to buy a house outright (not the $100 million one he got conned into buying, but a more modest one he could afford (in case his sales nosedived). Same strategy for buying a vehicle — get a Toyota Corolla, not a $100 thousand Porsche.
But Jeff, wanting to rub dad Rick’s nose in it — not to mention reeling in “babes” like so many salmon — splurged anyway. (Imagine Becca rolling her eyes but keeping her peace.) When sales went south, Jeff could no longer afford the payments. The rest is history, as we are seeing right before our baby blues or baby browns.
DylanThomas3.14159 about 12 years ago
Have no frear for Becca Bickle and Random House (RH). They just plowed its share back into the company (for Becca’s salary, for instance.) Not only did RH not blow through the money as Jeff did, but they made a substantial profit off of Jeff. (Nor ever fear: He’ll never see a penny of their money — a deal’s a deal, Bubba.) However, if Jeff wants to be “the comeback kid”, he could no doubt do another one. RH has nothing against sucking more juice out of Jeff, then kicking the corpse to the side of the pike.
Astolat about 12 years ago
I don’t think GT ever thought that either of these days was Jeff’s birthday. Jeff just thinks it’s a line that might work. Both repo guys have heard it all before and simply did their job.
And DT Pi; given your name I’d expected you to quote this lyric…!
Once upon a time, you dressed so fine,You threw the bums a dime in your prime,Didn’t you?People called, say “beware doll, you’re bound to fall”;You thought they were all kidding you.You used to laugh aboutEverybody that was hanging it out.Now you don’t talk so loud,Now you don’t seem so proudAbout having to be scrounging for your next meal
How does it feel? How does it feelTo be without a home,Like a complete unknown,Like a rolling stone?
stellablu122 about 12 years ago
This is the American Dream folks. It the bottom. Your only way is up unless you are part of the 47%. Please welcome its newest member.
keenanthelibrarian about 12 years ago
What’d he ever do with his mansion … ?
krisjackson01 about 12 years ago
I have the same birthday as Steven Tyler and James T. Kirk. Tyler and I were born the same year. Kirk is 285 years younger than us.
Beleck3 about 12 years ago
being part of the 47% only means you get screwed for working. lol. they take your stuff/money and you have to work anyway. lol.
love how they change the focus from the 1%. debt slaves/serfs are all working people are. lol
such diversionary tactics. they do work, though.
maybe if we are lucky Jeff can get locked up and we will have to pay for his jailing. which is more expensive than going to Harvard or Yale. cheaper to go to the Elite’s schools than spend a year in jail. Ah, America, you gotta love the way they screw us over. such finesse. such ignorance. the huddled masses yearning to be screwed.
like 1/3 of black men in America, who have jail records or in jail, to keep them from voting. such effective “us vs them” tactics.
if voting really mattered, do you think they’ll let us vote?
Raygun about 12 years ago
How would the Red Rascal handle this?
Carol69 about 12 years ago
He’s a male version of Kim Kardashian, no talent, no skills, just an inflated view of himself and belief in his imaginary world. AKA Omamaism
alan.gurka about 12 years ago
I share mine with the Feast of the 3 Kings.
William Bednar Premium Member about 12 years ago
“He’s a male version of Kim Kardashian, no talent, no skills, just an inflated view of himself and belief in his imaginary world. AKA Romneyism”#To be fair about it, Kim is inflated in all the right places!! Jeff? NOT!!
montessoriteacher about 12 years ago
First the car, now the house, oh no… It is all over for Jeff… I say it is time for GT to revisit the Donald! The Donald is a riot!
360guy Premium Member about 12 years ago
Nothing on the Benghazi coverup?
Mythreesons about 12 years ago
I share my birthday with every year. (January 1.)
montessoriteacher about 12 years ago
I share my bday with Mick Jagger, though he is a couple decades older than I am.:)
montessoriteacher about 12 years ago
I am sure that in responding to DTPi, Sharuniboy was not trying to offend anyone, most certainly not someone who is not even the person that he was addressing in the first place…
montessoriteacher about 12 years ago
Strange how the conservative posters on this thread might think that liberals are posting in order to offend someone. We know some people don’t agree, but you don’t have to take offense. In fact, you don’t even have to read this thread to begin with if you find it offensive or too hard to understand…
Rickapolis about 12 years ago
Can’t Jeff get a loan from one of his girlfriends? Oh, right…
kaffekup about 12 years ago
I got the best of both worlds! Cameron Diaz and Warren Buffett.
DylanThomas3.14159 about 12 years ago
I’m assuming that Red Rascal is Jeff’s alter-ego. The fact that Jeff decided not to use the (female) ghostwriter indicates that Jeff thinks Red Rascal is a hero. Trudeau knows Rascal is NOT really a hero, just a self-satisfied jerk who appeals to other self-satisfied jerks (certain book buyers).
And Becca Bickle, Jeff’s Random House editor, understands that Rascal’s exploits will appeal to a certain limited audience of whackoids.
Jeff, though, does NOT understand economic reality. He thinks his brain child, Red Rascal’s War, has unlimited appeal, unlimited sales potential. And he thinks that it will result in unlimited wealth. Thus he purchases a mansion and a Porsche that he can’t pay for. Nor does he understand basic economics will result in two repo-dudes.
water_moon about 12 years ago
I read the ghost writting script as a bad romance novelization and there were vampires for sure (Ie. Twilight Saganess)
DylanThomas3.14159 about 12 years ago
“Only people like you Dylan”
That’s not true, JerseyJo. Dogs like me.
DylanThomas3.14159 about 12 years ago
“I find that extremely hard to believe, Dylan. [Dogs] are excellent judges of unkind demeanor. They can spot an egotist with one sniff.”
Well, then, JerseyJo, would you believe cats like me?
DylanThomas3.14159 about 12 years ago
“Doonesbury is an escape from reality. ¶ Some fans never return”
Y do U return?