The Duplex by Glenn McCoy for February 28, 2010
Transcript:
Customer: I'll have a grande half-caf, triple-shot, sugar-free, vanilla, soy, no-whip, no-foam, marble, mocha macchiato with extra cookie bits. Eno: Excuse me. That order sounds like it'll take a half hour to prepare. I just want a cup of coffee. Would you mind if I cut in front? Customer: And could you add the nectar of a Tibetan orchid, slowly stirred two hundred times? Eno: With extra spit!!
comicgos over 14 years ago
Starbucks has turned coffee into a carnival.
GROG Premium Member over 14 years ago
What are you doing there, Eno? Shouldn’t you be at the beer store?
Llewellenbruce over 14 years ago
Maybe he’s trying to sober up.
Joeboyzzq over 14 years ago
Maybe they have a new flavor, Beer a’ late!
AddADadaAdDad over 14 years ago
Ha, I’ve been behind that guy and thought the same thing as Eno, but only thought it.
ronaldmundy over 14 years ago
can i have a small coffee, while i wait for my large coffe. even if you’re a sot, you can never have too much coffee.
Charles Brobst Premium Member over 14 years ago
Black. Extra sugar. Bet you can’t do THAT Starbucks!
lazygrazer over 14 years ago
Attaboy, Eno!
cleokaya over 14 years ago
It was a shame that coffee went from being a caffeine surge to a dessert.
NoBrandName over 14 years ago
Do people order coffees like that because the taste really makes any difference, or is it the show and the ego boost that they go for?
kirbey over 14 years ago
My daughter worked at several coffee shops in California and this is normal… sad to say.
alviebird over 14 years ago
I confess that I had a cappuccino at church today. But, to me, that’s not coffee. The Eight O’Clock (whole bean) French roast (black) in my cup now, now that’s coffee.
I’m out of Don Pablo.
fritzoid Premium Member over 14 years ago
If what you want is a cuppa joe, there are places other than Starbucks to get it quicker and cheaper (and stronger). Yes, even in California.
That being said, every winter I wait anxiously for the gingerbread lattes to appear on the board. Double shot of espresso, no foam. The rest of the year I just go for the House Blend. What bugs me is places where they ONLY pull espresso, and if you want anything resembling good ol’ drip you have to order an “Americano”, which is just espresso with water added. I ran into that a lot in London, but there are places here that do it too.
In Australia, you order your coffee either as a Long Black or a Flat White. A Flat White is just a Long Black with milk or cream. But it’s a standardized mix (too light for me), and self-serve cream is rare…
COWBOY7 over 14 years ago
I thought it has to meet EPA standards in CA?!
fritzoid Premium Member over 14 years ago
That’s a given. Of course, I wouldn’t want to drink any coffee that doesn’t meet EPA standards…
It’s true that California in general and the Bay Area in particular is partly to blame for the proliferation of Starbucks. The Seattle guys who started the Green Hydra learned their roasting techniques from and patterned their business after Peet’s Coffee, and Peet’s started up in Berkeley. I know a lot of people who still refuse to go into Starbucks if there’s a Peet’s nearby (and very often there’ll be one of each on the same block). Personally, I prefer independents, when possible.
Still, not all coffee snobs like frou-frou drinks. We can be equally serious about good ol’ Java, and if you serve bad coffee in SF word gets around. It’s not a reputation you want to have; we’re a highly-caffeinated city.
The blend I have at home at the moment is about two parts Columbian to one part French Roast, with just a smattering of Hazelnut and Irish Cream thrown in. Not so much of the sweet stuff that I can really taste it, but it smells so good…
starlena Premium Member over 14 years ago
You can order regular coffee at Starbuck’s-just ask for brewed coffee. I personally only order that, to tell you the truth-the fancy drinks just don’t float my boat…