F Minus by Tony Carrillo for August 26, 2023

you don’t need a smart watch for this – just subtract 2 hours from your actual time.

Great. People need to be told how they feel now.

Ah yes! I need to get a watch with a boreometer.

36:30 and it isn’t even lunchtime!

Got one. Pipes the news to me. Nags me to get up and move. Tells me my stocks are losing. Just rang me to go to bed.

Wait, did I just buy a second wife?

My first job at 17. Draftsman at a structural steel fabricator. When things were slow, boss gave me a textbook on beam stress calculations and told me to learn what I could. I like math and learning, but as those couple 8-hour days passed, I thought of the many working years ahead of me, and thought, “Man! This going to be a long life.”

The Smart Watch for Dummies?

When it stops. Not a good sign.

Is that like predictive spellcheck?

I’ve got an awesomely kewl watch. It tells the time and date… and that’s it! It’s so easy to use!

You know it’s going to be a rough week when you sit down after your Thursday afternoon coffee break only to discover that it’s really 10:42 on Tuesday morning.

It measures time with respect to the theory of relativity:

The more boring, sad, or painful something is the slower time passes.

The more interesting, exciting, or joyful the faster time passes.