F Minus by Tony Carrillo for October 31, 2024

Give it up Big Lou or you’ll be washing windows tomorrow

Tsk. There is no better place, stingy-guts.

I did that with six car dealerships. Now I own a fleet of vehicles. Yeah, right !!!

Can I have an umbrella to put your candy in?

When I was a kid, back in the sixties, the last stop (because it was the only business open in the evening) was the local Dairy Queen. I kept hoping they’d give out taquitos instead of candy though.

Best time, I would have thought.

No need. They give umbrellas away at coffee shops.

The candy store can’t legally sell expired candy, seems like the perfect Halloween hand-out.

There was a dive shop near Flint, MI that gave out diving gear for Halloween. They had an underwater pumpkin carving contest. For your $2 entry fee you got hot dogs & chips, soda and a grab bag of discontinued items (dive knives, weight belts, mask defogger +). The prizes included aqualungs, wetsuits, and full BC with aqualung. I never won, but lunch covered the entry fee and the grab-bag stuff was great. I did it two years (then we moved), the sample grab-bag items listed were all in bags I got. Each bag had at least five items.

Pwease mista! We spent so much time on our costumes, and we haven’t gotten any candy or compliments. Don’t we look cute?

All we want is some Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups, M&Ms, Hot tamales, Skittles, Sour Patch Kids, Starburst, Hershey Kisses, and Candy Corn.

Can’t you manage that tiny little request for these poor kids? What more do we have to say? That we are unhoused orphans? That we will drop out of school without this candy? That we have families to feed and rent to pay? Please, please, help us!

Have a heart Big Lou!

I would just loiter in the umbrella store until the rain stopped. Thanks, mister.