One thing to remember is, when they do as they are asked, be sure to follow up with complements even if their first try may not be all that perfect. Future acknowledgements with gentle corrections will help them feel good about themselves and may want to try even harder. Good first start, Elly.
Old School: Give the kid the jobs you want him to do and he knows he’d best do them. Simple. Both sides know the rules.
Modern: Scheme and trick and hope the kid does what he’s asked to do. And if he doesn’t, try to reason and cajole him into it.
The problem with “Old School,” fishstix, is that it doesn’t really teach children to respect the importance of work. Telling a child that he has to do chores simply “because I said so, period” doesn”t make him or her more willing to work or appreciate its importance more; in fact, if anything, it can have the exact opposite effect; he or she will simply resent it and use any and every opportunity to avoid doing any work the minute his parents’ backs are turned. Trust me on this one.
On the other hand, if you teach a child to LOVE work by making him feel that it makes him an important part of the family (which is the approach that Elly took), you won’t have to resort to standing over him or her armed with a razor strap and a “do it or DIE” look on your face. Your child will do his or her chores because he or she genuinely WANTS to do them – and, in fact, he or she will come to love them so much that he or she may even start doing other chores without even being asked.
So, don’t knock “Modern School” methods until you’ve tried them!
I think you are both sort of saying the same thing in different ways.
Kids need to contribute to their family. This is how they learn to contribute to society when they are older instead of thinking society has to contribute to them.
Yet pointing out the job is well done and you letting them know you appreciate their work will encourage them to do even better. We all learn better with kindness than with force.
Old school works better. You know why? Because when a kid grows up, enters the work force to earn a living, he is going to be told to do the work or else! No reasoning and no cajoling. Better to learn that lesson now.
Isn’t it amazing how “old school” worked for hundreds of years, producing functioning rational well-adjusted adults, yet now our “enlightened” generation has decided that teaching children the old way will stunt their little psyches.
While I agree that the old ways worked better, adding a little explanation instead of just “because I said so” helps the child understand how and why he is helping the family. I grew up in the 50’s and 60’s, and my folks used this “combination” on my brothers and me. It seems to have worked well enough, so we tried it on our own kids. Wow. It still works.
Burgandy 2, you said it very well. Bullying builds strong resentment. Tact with love wins out with honorable respect. And we must remember also that each of us is God’s fingerprint. What tactic may work for one, may well not work for the other.
Having been an early day animal trainer, the same goes for them as well, dogs, horses or whatever. We found it necessary to always enthusiasticaly compliment that being every time they did a task as we asked of them. “Good boy”! Often times when a sharp correction was needed for one animal, that same tactic could cause it’s sibbling to fall apart. Therefor the more soft touch was needed.
Unfortotunately, parenting being the most responsible occupation in life, all too often takes place without proper previous training. Those who were unfortunate to grow up in a disfunctional home are most apt to pass those same disfunctions on to their children..hence possible 4 generations of curses.
Whether parenting or being a boss on the job, most anyone can have either of these jobs but it requires being a responsible leader to be respected…not a pushy punk.
FishStix, heh, do you really think Troll was invented here, by a clique? Read this: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Troll_(Internet) And yes, there’s one here…
FishStix, nope, it has connotations both ways and is used quite a bit like this, not only here. I come from a fishing place and know what trolling means too…
alondra about 15 years ago
That’s right. Then they find out it’s work and it’s not that much fun.
shewith5 about 15 years ago
Shoulda’ saved it for when he’s a teen
mcveinot about 15 years ago
Meh, it never worked the first time here, the trickery, that is. They can smell work a mile away, lol!
kfaatz925 about 15 years ago
I think it worked pretty well on me. I guess I didn’t have my work-radar tuned properly. ;)
EarlWash about 15 years ago
One thing to remember is, when they do as they are asked, be sure to follow up with complements even if their first try may not be all that perfect. Future acknowledgements with gentle corrections will help them feel good about themselves and may want to try even harder. Good first start, Elly.
Ashrey about 15 years ago
flightsuit, this wasn’t supposed to be about you.
legaleagle48 about 15 years ago
Old School: Give the kid the jobs you want him to do and he knows he’d best do them. Simple. Both sides know the rules.
Modern: Scheme and trick and hope the kid does what he’s asked to do. And if he doesn’t, try to reason and cajole him into it.
The problem with “Old School,” fishstix, is that it doesn’t really teach children to respect the importance of work. Telling a child that he has to do chores simply “because I said so, period” doesn”t make him or her more willing to work or appreciate its importance more; in fact, if anything, it can have the exact opposite effect; he or she will simply resent it and use any and every opportunity to avoid doing any work the minute his parents’ backs are turned. Trust me on this one.
On the other hand, if you teach a child to LOVE work by making him feel that it makes him an important part of the family (which is the approach that Elly took), you won’t have to resort to standing over him or her armed with a razor strap and a “do it or DIE” look on your face. Your child will do his or her chores because he or she genuinely WANTS to do them – and, in fact, he or she will come to love them so much that he or she may even start doing other chores without even being asked.
So, don’t knock “Modern School” methods until you’ve tried them!
ireg about 15 years ago
I think you are both sort of saying the same thing in different ways. Kids need to contribute to their family. This is how they learn to contribute to society when they are older instead of thinking society has to contribute to them. Yet pointing out the job is well done and you letting them know you appreciate their work will encourage them to do even better. We all learn better with kindness than with force.
Jackknife15 about 15 years ago
flightsuit, you’ve already made it clear you don’t like this strip. So, why are you still here?
pearlandpeach about 15 years ago
Doctor Toon - thats what I said yesterday….
summerdog86 about 15 years ago
Old school works better. You know why? Because when a kid grows up, enters the work force to earn a living, he is going to be told to do the work or else! No reasoning and no cajoling. Better to learn that lesson now.
skubaduk8343 about 15 years ago
If ” they ” don’t do their chores, beat ‘em a few times & they will do the chores vs. being beat. I certainly got the point when I was a kid.
JanLC about 15 years ago
Isn’t it amazing how “old school” worked for hundreds of years, producing functioning rational well-adjusted adults, yet now our “enlightened” generation has decided that teaching children the old way will stunt their little psyches. While I agree that the old ways worked better, adding a little explanation instead of just “because I said so” helps the child understand how and why he is helping the family. I grew up in the 50’s and 60’s, and my folks used this “combination” on my brothers and me. It seems to have worked well enough, so we tried it on our own kids. Wow. It still works.
Nelly55 about 15 years ago
mom gave us a set of chores, a time they needed to be done and a checklist. If they weren’t done by said time, it was curtains
of course when we became teens it didn’t work so well anymore ;-)
summerdog86 about 15 years ago
My mom just wished we would all go away. : (
alviebird about 15 years ago
“Old school” teaches that there are consequences to their actions (or inactions), a very valuable lesson in life.
EarlWash about 15 years ago
Burgandy 2, you said it very well. Bullying builds strong resentment. Tact with love wins out with honorable respect. And we must remember also that each of us is God’s fingerprint. What tactic may work for one, may well not work for the other.
Having been an early day animal trainer, the same goes for them as well, dogs, horses or whatever. We found it necessary to always enthusiasticaly compliment that being every time they did a task as we asked of them. “Good boy”! Often times when a sharp correction was needed for one animal, that same tactic could cause it’s sibbling to fall apart. Therefor the more soft touch was needed.
Unfortotunately, parenting being the most responsible occupation in life, all too often takes place without proper previous training. Those who were unfortunate to grow up in a disfunctional home are most apt to pass those same disfunctions on to their children..hence possible 4 generations of curses.
Whether parenting or being a boss on the job, most anyone can have either of these jobs but it requires being a responsible leader to be respected…not a pushy punk.
kittylover2 about 15 years ago
Please don’t answer the troll other than with a “flag”. Please that is what keeps them alive, all the attention. Resist, don’t do it, just “flag”.
harmgb about 15 years ago
Burgundy2, good quote from “A Christmas Carol”…… ‘Flightsuit’ is looking for a comic with a laugh track so he knows when to laugh.
hildigunnurr Premium Member about 15 years ago
FishStix, heh, do you really think Troll was invented here, by a clique? Read this: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Troll_(Internet) And yes, there’s one here…
hildigunnurr Premium Member about 15 years ago
FishStix, nope, it has connotations both ways and is used quite a bit like this, not only here. I come from a fishing place and know what trolling means too…
hildigunnurr Premium Member about 15 years ago
(AND I’m an old hat on the net - saw troll used this way all the way back on UseNet)